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lonely island - jalapeno lyrics

h-llo… brodies… welcome… thanks for comin, uh
this would be the second annual incredibad jalarpeсo eatoff
uh, we’ve got some fierce compet-tors today starting with myself, samboni
to my left is the infamous broseph stalin
and wrapping things up will be j-to-the-orgustavson
so uh, without further ado, the communist law will be laid down by broseph stalin
broseph, uh, the floor is yours

here i come
there i go
broseph stalin off that jalarpeсo
uh oh!
it’s gettin hot and spicy
i eat ’em raw
you take ’em breaded lightly
filled with cream cheese
s-x symbol
i eat all them jalapeсos for the hammersicle

alright, that was broseph stalin, rippin it up
next up you’re gonna hear something from me, samboni
hold on to your hats, cause i love jalarpeсos

i’m a sucker for bong blows and college frat bros (yeah)
p-ssed out hoes, bros, and jalapeсos
jalapeсos, hotter than pepperoncinis, you know
samboni eat ’em fast, the others be eatin slow (yeah)
there was an old lady who lived in a shoe
had so many jalapeсos, didn’t know what to do
and she said: “it’s gettin hot in herre, so eat jalapeсos”
all my amigos eat jalapeсos, uh oh! (yeah)

okay, it’s me, samboni
that was my verse, i thought it was pretty solid
but, we got a real treat for ya
even though me and the other bros have been eatin a lotta jalars
this last guy eats the most
he goes by the name of j-to-the-orgustavson, and he’s gonna blow your mindb-lls

hi kids, do you like violence?
wanna see me eat jalarpeсos til they’re popping out my eyelids?
you wanna eat the most and win the contest, just like i did?
well you can’t, and if you someone told you could, well then they lied-ed
ninety percent of my life, i been lied to
like broseph tryin to say he eats more jalapies than i do?
and samboni goes…
nothing, you idiots!
his mouth is closed, full of jalarpeсos
but if you feel like i feel, i got the antidote:
women wave your pantyhose, eat your jalapenios
cause i’m j-to-the-orgustavson, the real j-to-the-orgustavson

okay, alright, no that was solid stuff
uh, i wanna thank everyone for comin out
uh, with the possible exception of j-to-the-orgustavson, who we all despise
but lookit, uh, there are no losers here today, only winners
and by that of course i mean myself
uh, see you next year at the old incredibad jalarpeсo eatoff-ah

this is samboni, sayin goodbye, yeah
samboni
on the outro

- lonely island lyrics

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