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love, alexa - #101 russian roulette lyrics

[verse 1]
should’ve eaten breakfast, but i cried instead
i’m trying to heal, but it’s f-cking with my head
wake up everyday playing russian roulette
will i be happy today, or do i have to pretend?
ahhh, have to pretend, ahhh, have to pretend
heavy list of things you would demand
became a slave, caught up in your wasteland
i was scared thinking that n0body’d listen
so at 12 years old, i learned how to pretend
ahhh, have to pretend, ahhh, have to pretend

[chorus]
your smile made me a mess
as you got me to undress
chances are i lose my head
playing this russian roulette
i never thought that i meant
anything more than just s-x
chances are i end up dead
playing this russian roulette

[verse 2]
little blondie dreaming what it’s like to be free
but blame and shame is all that i could believe
used to hate myself on what you did to me
i thought that if i hated me enough, then you’d finally love me
ahhh, finally love me, ahhh, but you never loved me
trying not to come up with a plot of revenge
as i put me back together with a bottle in my hand
we’re not teaching boys what it means to consent
instead, we’re teaching girls about how to pretend
have to pretend, we don’t have to pretend

[bridge]
i can’t wait, ’till we don’t have to pretend, we don’t have to pretend
i can’t wait, ’till we don’t have to pretend, we don’t have to pretend

[outro]
i know there’ll come a day where i don’t fear you in my mind
f-ck how you would pray on me in the middle of the night
f-ck how you would pray, f-ck how you would pray on me
f-ck how you would pray on me in the middle of the f-cking night

- love alexa lyrics

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