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lowcase - ($)end it lyrics

snort the xanax off the bed post
the parents find us dead when they get home
we shoulda never been left lone
you rapping in deaf tone
off mixed drinks a muscle relaxers
feel death c-mming back up like
it started f-cking faster
i’m in a double casket blunt rolled nowhere to ash it
this my last sh-t so tell me how much you loved me
not much in the world that keeps me running i’m surprised i’m even upbeat like 1/16th of the time
but my tedious mind keep on rewind the deep cuts inside i can’t even manage to cry its like i’m the only one in my family alive
got me screamin at life like
how many people you gon take from me
how many people you gon take from me
im bouta break homie
tempted just to send it to the grave
but im never checking out the game said im never checking out the f-cking game

suicide was a choice until i grew up
and learned mental illness is for the cool ones
now i have a twitter aesthetic
and a new bunch
of friends that
don’t do stuff
but regret and debate on whether to (s)end it
i was 15 my mother bald with cancer
4am comes she’s screaming i tried to pretend to sleep and not answer
but i called 911 they arrived i demand that they trans her
i come back home and she’s there near in tears her
will and spirit broken the tension tangible i could hold it
the words were almost broken when she spoke it
she told me she was scared to die i almost choked its
like she was the only one to know that she was gonna go
five years later never overcame that obstacle
i got friends therapists and pills my life’s perfect as sh-t
seratonin levels low as the bags ive had since like six
watch covers my wrist surprised it’s not covered in slits
at the summit i’ll plummet i’ll never find f-cks to give
but try to mind this instead
if i go and die like i said
you’ll be stuck with nothing to do but rewind this again
and again and again
and deflect and repent
but i questioning it
i’m bout to (s)end it i guess

- lowcase lyrics

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