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ltc and kwikshots – grandma got run over by a reindeer lyrics

[hook: kwikshots]
grandma got run over by a reindeer
i hope she doesn’t die
but it looks like she might
cuz there’s blood inside her eyes
now all i gotta do is celebrate
christmas on my own
i guess i’ll spoil myself in riches
till i’m rotten to the bone
i know that she will be there
to kiss me when it’s time
to ruffle up my feathers
like a bird bred with a b#tterfly
i don’t know what to say
i just want to know why
i had to hear those jingle bells
as you screamed and you cried

[verse 1: kwikshots]
the helicopters came
and scooped up grandma’s brain
i said “h#llo, coppers, howdy do”
and “ain’t this all a shame?”
i told her not to shovel snow while nick was at the reigns
now she looks like puddled soup
all cuz she disobeyed
brand new goose still sits aloof upon the roof
(hoop!)
i bet grandma wouldn’t notice if we had it removed
(choop!)
she forgets the decorations cuz dementia’s ablaze
it’s the thirteenth time this month she’s prepared for christmas day
grandma, grandma, grandma
my pajamas soaked in all your plasma
dna from your final day
displayed upon my new pjs
twenty days without you
not as bad as they may say
i’m sure you’re celebrating from deep down inside your grave

[verse 2: ltc]
gosh#dangit
i didn’t wanna see another tragedy
the doc’ said gore was bad for me
that’s how i was diagnosed with ptsd
and i pulled up in that ambulance
and i saw little ms. amberlance
she was cold, dead
and minus hands
i loaded her in the back and i brushed off my pants
and i turned to her grandson
wearing pjs with a man#bun
said “boy, i think i’m all done here”
all thanks to the man with the red tum
thank you, man with the red tum
for this boy named bob grum
is no longer a grandson
i feel bad i guess

[refrain: ltc]
now, boy, go on and cry
i hope you pray every single night
that your gam#gam is in heaven
and not roasting like a hot ham

now, boy, go on and cry
i hope you pray every single night
that your gam#gam is in heaven
and not roasting like a hot ham

[verse 3: kwikshots]
i’m bad, i’m bad, i’m rich
cuz i didn’t get my fish
from saint nick
and now i’m treating you like dirt upon a stick
sorry, grandma
cash makes a man as cold as an ice pick
speaking of ice picks, i’m thinkin’ ’bout chopsticks
i’m hungry so i’ll go buy somethin’ at the most expensive restaurant they have
probably a chinese fast food outlet
skrrt!
granny’s gone, granny’s gone
skrrt!
open season
on my lawn, on my lawn
skrrt!
the house is for sale
but my drip ain’t
her will was full of cash
so now, i’ve got plenty
i’ve got plenty
hrrt, skrrt!
i’ve got plenty
hrrt!

[verse 4: ltc]
better grab the money out the corpse’s pockets
i think i found a mint
and a ticket pocket widget
tossed to the man#bun kid and said “watch it!”
the time stopped when she died
and her mind blew socket
sorry, kid
but grandma’s a ghoul
what are we thinking?
cremation or water burial?
or we can drop her from an aerial craft
it’s up to you, kid
don’t be daft

[outro: ltc]
yeah
everybody’s losing somebody this year
yeah, mm
that all depends on you
and how you doin’!
so say “goodbye” while you can
say “i love you”
say “goodbye”
face the consequences

- ltc and kwikshots lyrics

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