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lucidity - cold nights lyrics

[verse 1]
i just wanna make a million dollars
i don’t wanna have to worry ’bout the commas
but i can’t say that, it’ll come back in
every conversation, i’m debatin’, doubtin’ i can make it
tripped up, i don’t even wanna try and
the girl that i love can’t even look me in the eye
i’m slippin’ so fast, who the f#ck am i?
i don’t even wanna write, cause everything i write is sh#t
man i wanna f#ckin’ quit, is it me or my disease?
on my knees, god please, god stop punishin’ me
what the f#ck did i do? do i deserve this?
my life, is it worth it? this pain, it’s just hurtin’
i know you can see, i’m bruised and i bleed
the most f#cked up part is i suffer unseen
the world, they can’t see that i’m goin’ through h#ll
all the words that exist, none describe what i feel

[verse 2]
i don’t know who i am
slowly i’ve drifted, my old self i’m missin’
you with it, i honestly don’t give a sh#t
trust in my life, it doesn’t exist
would i be missed if i just disappeared?
this thought clouding my mind
all the time, i just question my reason in life
had a path full of purpose, now i’m just a waste
f#ckin’ fightin’ and stealin’ sh#t, why do i do this?
i don’t wanna do this, i’m just so clueless
can’t cope with emotion, can’t stick with devotion
i keep on just pushin’ out people that care
act like it ain’t there, my need to be loved
what if i took a shot, go up above?
will it be different with god doin’ judgin’
or would it just end in the dark, all for nothin’?

[verse 3]
i don’t wanna go to school
i wanna live by my own rules
everybody that i know talks down to me
my friends, enemies, even my family
any place i look, i feel so alone
n0body is there, the world is cold
what came first, the punishment or the pain?
i don’t wanna be here anymore, it’s hard cause
the holidays come, and it’s always only me
i’m just thinkin’ ‘bout how i lost my siblings
they split so fast, no stoppin’ them now
i wanna move back, man, f#ck this town
ain’t nothin’ i love, no reason to stay
i’m stuck here now, i can’t get out
i despise everything that’s surroundin’ me
and i’m so f#cking lost, no way i can be found

- lucidity lyrics

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