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ludacris - viagra skit lyrics

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[ludacris]
oh god! oh god! ugh..

[911 lady]
9-1-1 what’s your emergency?

[ludacris]
yes ma’am i got a hard problem, i got a hard problem…

[911 lady]
calm down sir, it can’t be that hard, okay?

[ludacris]
no, no it can’t, it-it can’t… it is! my d-ck, it’s been hard for over eight hours and it just won’t go down!

[911 lady]
excuse me?!

[ludacris]
i took one of them v–gr-s for the first time…

[911 lady]
word?!

[ludacris]
and the first one didn’t do anything, s-so i took another one…

[911 lady]
ok..

[ludacris]
and now my sh-t harder than t-tanium in this motherf-cker, i’ve been knocking sh-t over…

[911 lady]
d-mn, i ain’t had no d-ck in 6 months..

[ludacris]
why don’t them sh-ts come with directions?! i don’t know what to do, ma’am help!

[911 lady]
hey girl, lisa!

[lisa]
hmhm–?

[ludacris]
–my god, what was i thinking…

[911 lady]
–call my shift, forward this call to my cell and confirm his address!

[lisa]
i got you!

[ludacris]
swear to god imma kill tyrone and them n-gg-s, i ain’t never listenin’ to them n-gg-s again man, i swear!

[lisa]
mmm… calm down, sir help is on the way!

[ludacris]
i can’t believe these b-tches set my d-ck up for failure!

[911 lady]
well, what happened anyway?

[ludacris]
i had, i had invited this chick over, you know what i’m sayin’, this b-tch i knew from a long time…

[911 lady]
mm-hmm…

[ludacris]
and she said she was with her friend, and they both wanted this thang, man, like they both wanted to jump me off, you know what i’m sayin’, and then–

[911 lady]
–poor thang!–

[ludacris]
–it started going to voicemail, man i hate these b-tches, man why do they need to be doing this stupid sh-t?!

[911 lady]
mm-mm, sir, help is in the neighborhood!–is it the last house on the right?

[ludacris]
…right on the right… right? no, they right, these b-tches ain’t right!

[lisa]
mm, don’t worry about that! momma gon’ take care of you! oh, is the one with the blow up dolls in the front?

[ludacris]
the one in the cut, with the furry bushes… it’s got some furry bushes, yes it does… i done wacked off like three times! i don’t know what else to do!

[911 lady]
well, you ain’t gotta do that no more! (opens and closes door)

[ludacris]
what the h-ll you doin’ in my house?!

[911 lady]
n-gg-, where the drinks at?!

- ludacris lyrics

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