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lumpydrake - pandemonium lyrics

[intro]
hi
my name is peter aka lumpydrake
hi peter!
and there is a chaos inside of my head
i have a lot of friends who are witnessing and experiencing it…
guys. im sorry
for those who are trying to help me, thank you
and for those who tell me it’s only inside my head, and it’s okay
i hope you’re right

i gain a new experience
yeah
that experience becomes my inhabitant
i need to spill it out like it’s sewage, so i write it but i don’t feel any better only desperateness
and i’m doing the circle over again
really, it’s everything that exist in my head
i wish i could tell you i enjoy it, i do
but at a certain extant it’s not healthy for you
i stress the h+ll out, like what i do next?
i should always have a limit just to surpass
i don’t stop til i create the absolute best, and i lie to you for you to believe these facts
i write my life rather than live it, experience
i wanna feel that ‘cause there ain’t no variants
you either live it or not and then grieving it
ehh, my mind’s a barrier
i’m waiting for miracles to fall in my hands
this mindset is terrible, ain’t takin’ steps
i am forgettable, but not what i rap
my impact lies on various basis i guess
so making you feel good, that’s a goal of mine
i know what you’ve been through, i’ve read your mind
i couldn’t help myself escaping from mine, that’s the reason that i help you, tryna save you some time
it’s the grind that is tiring, i know what it’s like when you constantly fight with yourself through a life, you’d run far away
and not take the fight, but there is no redemption without sacrifice
you’re tackling back and forth without knowing what’s right, got a list in your head of times you f+cked up and how, it’s just h+ll no it’s life
the solution is easy, just look at the bright side, ‘cause
i’ve had some rough days, do you know why?
‘cause at the end of the day i’m still a guy
i’ll be hurt if you stab me, dope lines, but
i don’t wanna bore you with problems of mine
a therapist, that’s what i need am i right?
but i got turned down, ‘cause they ain’t got time
(and how are you feelin’?) i’m losing my mind
no, but really, it’s fine
you ever had this feeling that you gotta get better, but the time is passing by and the practice gets harder
keep lyin’ to yourself, keep sayin’ it’s easy, next minute you believe it’s never gonna happen
i have to believe that these thoughts don’t matter
whether they are true or not, they will or will not happen
i should simply follow the road
now this mindset is better
i’m just incapable of doing it
(hey! i punch you on the face, nerd!)
‘cause i’m tired of being myself all the time!
i didn’t choose me, i’m not on my side!
i’ve failed so far on every field of my life
but it all turned around when rap came in my sight
i’m the one here, no question
wait… hold up
when i step right in front of you i’m still like a no one
i tried and you tried and bro… i’m outdone
i drown in this thought, ‘cause i lost… and you won
sh+t i lose the girl, so who am i turning to?
you live in my shadow so the sun is not burning you
i’m clearing the path
so who are you learning from?
the one who’s the most hurt. that’s who i turn into
do i talk about someone? i’m being too exact
no one, but it really takes a lot to believe that
of course it’s ‘bout guy, supposed to be a wingman, but it turned out he’s a man with wings and i am just a penguin
i’m broken and broke, but i don’t wanna break and i fear you can’t help me, only lumpydrake, but he’s late and i break soon i feel it on the lane and i just hope for the pain to someday go away, bro i’m done
i’m done with you tricking my brain
you’re the reason i live in the darkness like bane
you hurt me, you know that? you’re the cause of my pain, and i don’t know who you are at the end of the day
péter
aki érzelmi manipulációval a legrosszabbat akarja neked
az te vagy, te hülyegyerek
és kiért akarsz magadnak rosszat?
csak hagyd
huss

i’m at the bottom of the ocean, it’s the top of my world
anything that someone does i know that it’s gon’ hurt
let go off my feelings, something i still haven’t learned
tho i’ve been trying for a while i know it’s never gonna turn
i’m biting off my lips so that i don’t say a word, ‘cause if i did it would catastrophic, believe it you nerd
pack in my bag and collect wisdom, so i go on a search
and i’m not going to come but ‘til you’re calling me the first, right?
competing with others but yourself should be the first fight
being f+cked up mentally and you won’t get the girl, pal
+so my loneliness a blessing?
+if you look at it from the bright side, but you managed to get so f+cked up, so you’re gonna have a hard time
still i know i’m not the one that you easily make bow
when i’m beaten to the ground and still breathing you’re like “wow”
when i’m scared of something i do it, i’m about to reveal how;
i’m in control of my mind, and h+ll it feels good
wow

- lumpydrake lyrics

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