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m.i abaga - prelude lyrics

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[voiceover]:
the following movie is rated tb – toh bad. viewer discretion is advised. please switch off all mobile phones while seated in the theatre. thank you for your cooperation. and now, for your feature presentation…

(scene 1):
[narrator]:
september 27th, 2010. 53 minutes after 2300 hours. location: unknown

[boss]:
gentlemen, gentlemen, please be seated. you know what is at stake here, so answer me this. where is m.i?

(murmuring)

[jean-pierre]:
h-llo sir! i am jean-pierre. me and my team have searched everywhere for m.i, but have discovered he is very well hidden!

[boss]:
so you mean to tell me that you have found nothing? you insolent b-st-rd! k!ll him!

[jean-pierre]:
sir! if you will delay my execution just a second, i will explain-

(gunshots)

eugh! ah! eugh! what a tragedy! i have died!

[boss]:
ah, i hate to lose my temper. but i guess if you need to get something done, you gotta do it yourself, you know? okay. now to catch a rat, you gotta know how a rat thinks. you need to lay down the peanut b-tter. so, does he have a girlfriend?

[mustafa]:
well sir, there is one girl who may know. her name is…waje!

[boss]:
get her. and bring her to me. alive!

[mustafa]:
pr-ntissimo, sir! he-he-he-he-he-he!

(tires screeching)

(scene 2):
[waje] (singing):
uh can i be your girl, for a minute
your girl for a minute

(banging on door)

[waje]:
oh, h-llo gentlemen! how may i help you?

[mustafa]:
h-llo, mrs. i am mustafa. we know you have affiliations with m.i, and we need to see him pretty desperately. where is he, or lose your life woman!

[waje]:
oh you guys are too funny! you know what i think, i think you guys are kolo oh, kolo oh, kolo eh! ha-ha, you guys think you can kidnap me? well, m.i will rescue me no matter what you do!

[mustafa]:
woman, make no mistake! we do not return those who we kidnap! we are not nigerian. you must meet my boss now, let us go!

[waje]:
no, let me go! no, let me go! let me go! no!

(tires screeching)

(scene 3):
[waje]:
where am i?! where are you taking me?!

[boss]:
h-llo, little girly! if you cooperate, you’ll make it out of this alive, capisce? now, i have only one question, so think carefully before you answer. where is…m.i?

[waje]:
i will never tell you! because he’s gonna come rescue me! ha-ha! i laugh at you guys, cause you guys don’t even know m.i. he’s the greatest, he’s an action star, he’s a hero!

[mustafa]:
he-he-he-he-he, i laugh at you women! we are the greatest armed force on the face of the earth! we will destroy him if he dares come close-

(gunshots)

[mustafa]:
eh? what was that sound? you two, go check it out!

(more gunshots)

[mustafa]:
eh, what was that sound?

(more gunshots)

[mustafa]:
come in! come in! radio, come in!

(more gunshots)

[mustafa]:
what is happening?!

(footsteps)

[mustafa]:
who goes there? i hear footsteps, who goes there? say your name or i shoot!

[m.i]:
h-llo, mustafa. they call-they call-they call me m.i. are you ready to dance with the devil? let’s go!

- m i abaga lyrics

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