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m0m0's b0p - my addicti0n 0f satisfacti0n lyrics

[monologue]
i remember the first time i got it off
it was very dark, alone
i was feeling lonely, up at 3 am or something
i started to look at these things that made me feel some type of way
i thought about them every second
and after that, i got it off
and every since then, i’ve been doing it over and over
i knew it was affecting me at once but i ignored the way it was affecting me
i keep doing it, over, and over, no hesitation
no train of thought, it was very disgusting of me
always having my unrealistic еxpectations to someone i do not know but havе feelings for them
i keep thinking in my head “she wants me, she wants me, she really do”
but that sh+t is f+cking fake
how can i be catching feelings for someone when those feelings aren’t even real in the first place?
it was the stimulation i was doing, it was the satisfaction i was watching
i tried everyday just to fight it off, but it’s struggling to do
i tried, i tried, i f+cking tried. but i couldn’t
it has ruined my f+cking life, my reputation, my relationships with people
it really has
i tried but i’m on social media seeing all these naked people, half+naked people
showing off their bodies and all of that and it’s turning me on, making me feel aroused every day
it’s too hard to be in discomfort when your addiction is in the way
and it’s making you be comfortable every single day
i let things come and eat my heart out and i turn it all into a p+rn addiction
i didn’t have no benefits, i didn’t set any boundaries
i didn’t set any of that, i did the deed, whacked it off and did it everyday just to feel good about myself
why? because anything i see on social media encourages me to do that type of sh+t
and it’s also my fault because i watched them, i seen them, i thought of those things s+xually
i looked at people in a s+xual way every single day
from looking at their bodies, looking at the genitals
all that stuff, and it’s making me feel aroused by doing that
so every time i go home, i thought about those bodies and i would continually whack it off
that’s when i realized i have a problem, and i realized it’s my fault
but it’s also p+rnography’s fault
if anything, p+rnography wouldn’t ever be in my life if i didn’t do all those things that made me unhealthy
it shouldn’t’ve been never taught me into doing things like that
from f+cking my animals to jacking off
it’s insane, dude
i’m always doing weird things by staring at people for no reason
because my mind is doing sh+t well
from middle school to high school, extra bad

- m0m0s b0p lyrics

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