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macc lads - animal testing lyrics

i was busy groping on my floor, some git comes knocking
on my door,
there’s a pack of b-st-rds queuing up outside.
no, i don’t think that god’s amazing. no, i don’t want
no double glazing,
i’m just trying to get between this woman’s thighs.
‘do you want some life -ssurance?’ ‘do you want some
car insurance?’
f-ck off, tw-t, i’m trying to have a poke.
‘god’s sent me on this mission’ ‘sign the animal
cruelty pet-tion,’
i think beagles should be forced to smoke.
i believe in animal testing, (yip!) that’s a dog,
i don’t want cladding or insulation in me f-cking loft
don’t want to help the poor at christmas, i’m too busy
in this bird’s knickers.
i got my airgun out for the hari krishnas.

some old biddy’s saving dogs, so i pushed a flame
thrower through the letter box,
f-ck off granny, or you’ll get what the mormons got. i
fried that b-st-rd to a cinder,
poured p-ss on the vicar out of the bedroom window,
the animal rights got their leaflets up their -rs-.

i believe in animal testing (meeow!) that’s a cat,
i don’t want to buy any carpet cleaner, yes, i know the
dog’s just shat,
i’m quite happy with these stains, i wired the doorbell
to the mains,
now macc’s got no mp, isn’t that a shame?

got back to sorting this girl out, ‘what was it you
came round about?’
she’s collecting for the church’s gerbil fund.
now that seems like a worthy cause, so she got down on
all fours.
‘i’d like to make a contribution to your c-nt.’

i believe in animal testing (ooh!) that’s a bird,
if the panda’s dying out, i couldn’t give a t-rd,
don’t want to know about politics, i’d rather scr-pe
the cheddar off my d-ck,
and save the smelly bits for jehovah’s witnesses.

- macc lads lyrics

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