macc lads - dan’s big log lyrics
he went for a meal with the posh in+laws, to ask for their daughter’s hand (again)
tea on the patio, croquet on the lawn, but dan’s rectal passage starts to strain (again)
he sits down to eat, clenching his cheeks, he wonders which knife and fork to use
then its: ‘excuse me, please’ as he leaves his seat
and he pegs it up the stairs to find the loo
he parks his breakfast, fills the bowl, uses up half a toilet roll
he flushed and he flushed, but it wouldn’t go
it must have wеighed over half a stone
hе flushed and he flushed but it wouldn’t shift
he couldn’t leave it lying in the bog
so he rolled up his sleeves, picks up the sh+t
he thinks he can disguise it as a log
he opens the window, takes his aim
and chucks it in the bushes over there
he hopes somebody else will get the blame
he goes back down to finish his hor d’oeuvres
he wanders in, begging their pardon, (remembering to fasten up his bags)
but everybody’s staring out at the garden
at the steaming t+rd that’s landed on the flags
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