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macc lads - uncle knobby lyrics

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my name is uncle kn-bby, i hang around primary schools
underneath my raincoat, i’m always totally nude
i show my navel fluff collection to lots of fully-clothed
men
i get a full erection, and have to rush to the gents

ooh! uncle kn-bby, can’t we please go home?
why do you hide in the bushes? what have you done with
our clothes?

i introduce my p-n-s to hamsters, gerbils and mice
i like to read fiesta, and peek at the reader’s wives

ooh! uncle kn-bby, where’s our special treat?
why do you keep taking pictures and sniffing our bicycle
seats?

i grummidge in my portfolio, which is full of tampax ads
i look up my own bottom with mirrors from ladies’
handbags

ooh! uncle kn-bby, can’t we please go home?
we’ve never seen any d-ld-s, we don’t want to wear
pantyhose
ooh! uncle kn-bby, why have you smeared us with cake?
we don’t like standing in custard, and we don’t want to
play with your snake.

- macc lads lyrics

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