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madd hatter - hitting back lyrics

[verse 1]
(peering back at me through some)
shattered gl-ss on a patch of gr-ss near the pavement
a portrait of basically more sh-t than any poor kid should be faced with
or have to mask going ape sh-t with a fake grin and a tank filled
with laughing gas pumping through his veins just to sooth the pain of never knowing who to blame
the damage they’d never know, from tears i never showed
but for every one that ever flowed, an extra dose of depakote
by now those years are played out like a syndicated episode inside my head
still, i never managed to let ’em go

[hook: andrew galucki]
is it too late to fight?
did i give up the right?
am i too late to fight?
is it over? (over)
i held it all inside my head, thought i was doing fine
never said what i should’ve said, not one d-mn time
if they knew who i was today, yeah they’d be walking away
the only thing left to say: this time i’m hittin’ back

[verse 2]
bawl so hard, motherf-ckers wanna fight me
tell me why don’t they like me
i brush sh-t off, try to do the right thing like spike lee
yet they continue to strike
no trench coat, just a clenched throat, they sent notes to try and spite me
and i tried fitting in, shirts all fitted nike, so let’s switch roles
can you please remind me what your job is? tell me what they pay you for
while you tape record, trying to rap my head ’round how they
hate me more than the day before yesterday when you said if i
just came forward all’d be well, but they brought me h-ll
now i’m even more acquainted with the concrete smell
of the hallway floor when they fought me more
and ignorance is blinding
see, my teacher she’s incapable of opening her eyelids
to witness this shy kid in need of some guidance
inside is confusion, self-hatred, defiance
state of mind divided like a country united
stripped of my youth and inflicted with violence
while the rest of my cl-ss just sits there in silence
keep a tally in my notes, hit twenty i might just
take it upon myself to ensure i am lifeless
if this is what life is, anything but priceless
i can’t afford to keep going on like this
so load up your weapons, your missile devices
cause i don’t wanna survive this
defective product of my environment
yeah, i don’t want to survive this
i don’t know, why am i like this?

[hook]

[verse 3]
raised to ignore the taunts and gossip but (i’m hittin’ back)
outside sweating, they’re diggin’ a grave, i’m driven with angst
another soul convinced she was just in the way, too sick of the pain
sick of feeling ashamed, sick of other kids always seem to mean what they say
overridden with hate, for some photos in her phone that she didn’t erase
and she couldn’t escape her own social feed, words chipping away
at her self-worth ’til she started feeling the same
mind reeling, her brain, fixed on fiction mistakes like an intricate stain
never finished sixth grade because she couldn’t sustain
another difficult day living, instead she became victim
and just in time for thanksgiving
it’s a f-cking travesty tragedies keep happening so rapidly
the impact that this has on me is surp-ssing capacity
what do i have to be? a f-cking amb-ssador?
cause school officials won’t act until after a m-ssacre?
actin’ taciturn even after the ashes burn
makes it hard to face the music when your back is turned
and i will not just sit back like a p-ssenger
and let a repeat of the past occur, i’m taking on a different path
so if i ever see some young punk f-cking someone up, i’m hittin’ back

[hook]

[outro]

- madd hatter lyrics

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