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madd hatter - the saga within lyrics

[verse 1]
for some, it takes loss to realize what someone’s true worth is
but not you, sarah, you did not deserve the circus
take it from me and i mean you could say it makes the person
but at what expense, lord? she did not f-cking deserve this
and all the while, here on earth, i’m trying to find my purpose
i’m nervous, toss and turning just yearning for re-ssurance
alone in my battle, between the lines of my verses
searching beneath the surface, ask myself, “yo, is it worthless
for me to rap when all i want’s to know that her pain’s gone?”
a lost soul, was it for me to try and make strong?
choices i made wrong might’ve otherwise
paved some more life for her to take on
months went by and i keep fighting to find sleep
frightened by the present, though i know that you’re at peace
’cause it’s leaving me in pieces
i’m feeling like an animal lost amongst the beaches
and, so it goes

[hook]
and though the years go by
each day you’re on my mind
which means you’re by my side
through thick and thin
in this world that i’m living in
you’re the saga within
and though the years go by
each day you’re on my mind
[verse 2]
the aura of your presence was a gift and i wish
i had the chance to get to know you better
i can only hope to get another chance some day
if i’m in a greater place
i’ll take a glance one way and see you make a crazy face
and maybe things will make sense again
’til then you remain alive in memories, sure but there’s so few
and it’s old news that you should still be here
your smile brightened whole rooms and now i can’t see clear
seems weird how no string of words sums it up
no matter how much i’m missin’ you, straight wisdom
i envision you in your unfulfilled life expedition
never goes away, you were my protege
decided as i read the raps you wrote and showed to me
took note of your emotion, once mine
like captain ahab, i try to say that
there’s more depth to the ocean than to selfishly wrestle
just forget about that whale and let the music be your vessel
let’s go

[verse 3]
knocks on the wooden door of my bedroom wake me from my slumber
ask who it is, as i remove myself from the covers
hear my friend talk, she’s got a phone call from my mother
and she just walked like seven blocks so i started to wonder
when my mom asked if i knew you, i began to shudder
turned back to face my friend and, in the silence, our eyes met
i knew what was next
still, when she said it, my heart dropped then jumped back up to my chest
rendered me speechless
as i regressed and turned metaphysically numb
i still struggle with the thought that there was more i could’ve done
but sometimes when we’re the neediest, it’s like screaming in sp-ce
no one can hear us, and even if they could they can’t relate
old friends might fear us as if there’s not enough sh-t on our plate
see, you were like a spitting image of me
i envied how you masked the pain and made it look so lovely
well, here i am opening my soul knowing full well
you’re sailing in the ocean’s reflection above me
(above me, above me, above me, above me)

- madd hatter lyrics

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