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maddie pieper - oil painting (demo) lyrics

[verse]
my favorite pen has run out of ink
it’s bleeding on the page and it’s bleeding where i think
chapped cherry red paints a tragic smile on my face
i don’t know why i bother mixing oil paints

[pre+chorus]
and every touch is wet with desperation
when you breathe i smell the sick that paints your soul
clenched hands on cool countertops, grasping for control
that you lost a long time ago

[chorus]
if i begged you, would you still be here?
you said you loved me, would it have shown?
cause now i’m wallowing in self+pity
miserable and so alone
i don’t look like someone you used to know
i’ve never looked like anyone you would know

[verse]
contact with the mirror and foul hatred starts to sit
churning in my gut where my skin peels off to show my ribs
if anyone here knew me when my t+shirts used to fit
the sight of the thing i am now would be enough to make one sick
[pre+chorus]
and every touch is wet with desperation
when you breathe i smell the sick that paints your soul
clenched hands on cool countertops, grasping for control
that you lost a long time ago

[chorus]
if i begged you, you would be here
but this part of me i’ll never show
cause now i’m wallowing in self+pity
miserable and so alone
i don’t look like someone you used to know
i’ve never looked like anyone you would know

[bridge]
an oil painting of you
has blue black purple tired eyes
skin that’s too pale
and shaking hands against your thighs
unhealthy and unhappy
and unable to leave the bed
lips choking on all the words
you went and left unsaid

a sick self+portrait from the dead
and why’d you go?
cause i always saw who i used to know
you were always who i used to know
you were always someone i used to know
even when you were sick
even when you were sick

- maddie pieper lyrics

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