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maeve noiré - candy cigarettes lyrics

candy cigarettes in my hand
lips painted pink like i understand
pretend to puff, pretend to smoke
but inside, i’m just a child drowning in jokes
they said i’m grown, but i’m barely ten
wearing lipstick and pretending again
a child in heels, too high, too fast
trying to grow up but it never lasts

“i’m fine, i’m fine,” i lie, day after day
but my bones feel heavy, like they’ve lost their way
they told me to smile, said “you’ll be okay,”
but the mirror shows a girl who’s too scared to play

the world told me to act like i care
to wear the mask, to cut the air
i walk like a woman, but i feel like a kid
hiding the truth in the things i never did
candy+coated lies on my tongue
but the taste’s too sharp, and i’m not that young
they said it’s normal, they said it’s fine
but i’m losing myself, crossing that line
“i’m fine, i’m fine,” but it’s all a show
pretending to be something i’ll never know
they told me to smile, but i’m starting to crack
faking my way forward, but i can’t look back

the smoke curls up, it’s a hollow disguise
i’m choking on dreams that i can’t recognize
trying to play grown with the weight of a child
but i’m lost in the chaos, i’m running wild

candy cigarettes, i pretend to be grown
but i’m rotting inside, i’m losing my tone
pretending to cope, but the smoke fills my lungs
said i was ready, but i’m just young
candy cigarettes, burning too fast
chasing a life that’s never meant to last
pretending to be grown, while rotting in my bones
i’m choking on sweetness, but i’m all alone
candy cigarettes, smoke in the air
pretending to cope, but i’m stuck in despair
growing up too fast, i lost my way
choking on sweetness, i can’t escape the fray

- maeve noire lyrics

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