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magdaleine de lioncourt - house of mercy lyrics

it’s second grade and i’m waiting for you
to show up on the playground, will you meet me there too?
cause lately its been hard to not be angry with you
i expected so much more, and what i got was not the truth

cutting away pictures of you just to stash away
so i can hold them in my hands at night to feel safe
nightmares about him, shot himself with his daddy’s pistol
just to splatter his brains all over his family photos

cause no one told me how to sow my love for you
altar boy with short hair, you told me i’m no use to you
bidding out my heart for the one who can’t love
pulling out catholic clumps of lovelorn doves

we’re just f+cking kids, but no one makes me feel this safe
all my life i’ve feared men, and you’re so much better than them
and you tell me that you don’t need me
so i lie, and i say its okay
when you don’t know how much it hurts me to hear you say
that you’re leaving me again
and i don’t want you to go away

he tears off his blouse to shield the rain from falling on me
down to the house of mercy was where i wanted us to meet
then you came, and you left again
like the twister weather in the middle of lent
shy gemini boy with your two faced kiss
i didn’t think i need you like i need this
one day you’ll wake up with a letter by your head
but i won’t be there, i won’t be in your bed
and youll be all alone, with no girl to hold
i know we can’t worship the baby cradle throne
but i didn’t know how much we’d actually grown
till i saw a bulge upon your throat on your neck
your adam’s apple had finally found its way home

so go f+ck yourself and everything that you believed in
you never knew how to love, you’ll never be a real man
but my father just tells me that its alright

- magdaleine de lioncourt lyrics

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