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mahhest - soul searchin lyrics

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[verse 1]
tell me why i’m respecting you..
though it’s clearly disrespecting myself
drinking water, mick told me this sh-t’ll help…
n i can’t help but be a product of the product and the pulpit
point the trigger my way, hope you ready to pull it
talk about some bullsh-t
talk about the time you figured out that she was full of it
talkin back when ya lil nephew caught a bullet
walkin round the block cuz this b-tch said somethin foolish…
n though it got you hot, you really love her so you cool it
but staring at the sun done got you blind
n you’re still not knowing if this love is the right kind
thinking you could force nothing to something truly divine…
but you can’t make it to heaven by committing suicide
could thank adam n evelynn n every one of a kind
i’m trynna find a way to forgive them all in my mind
sometimes i’m miles away, not knowing what i’m gone find
sometimes i need the moon, thinking the stars are mine…
now is it truly a crime to be attracted by the shine when the moon don’t even show her full self most of the time?
n you could feel the pain
i’m addicted to her mind
she addicted to herself
so i’m a d-ck in due time
but the reactionary kind, inside i’m really crying
“why the f-ck she hurting me? lord knows i’m really trying.”
n every word she spoke to me, i shoulda known that she was lying
she done got a hold of me n i just didn’t believe the signs..now why?

[verse 2]
you never felt your soul ache
you never been the embodiment of everything that they hate
you never cared when they couldn’t care less
you never been there when they want you, but you’re alone when you’re depressed
n i’m the saddest song your gramma knows
n when she sings, it brings them tears that only grammas know
i’m trynna grow, i’m trynna show that i got minds to blow…. hey maybe next time, we gone be at my show…
but who knows? that’s how it goes when you got p-ssion though
but as of late i’m p-ssionless as people praying for blessings they never get;
how you gone ask god for another f-ckin hit?
n we still not knowin where the f-ck the love went, but i got –
big dreams, n this scheme: to f-ck the world til i’m on every f-ckin big screen
now light it up n you could see what you been missing…
i’m soul searchin, think i’ll find it in a 16…
but i’ll take two of whatever they gave you
opportunities to me is always ending up fatal
n i’m the same dude that you gave your heartache to…
i…bear the burden, poking on the f-ckin bruise…
man i wish i could say i can’t lose
i roll a few n now i’m knowing why it’s called the “blews.”
they smokin fools n they ain’t knowing they got mamas too
and they ojos drippin aguazul when they put on the news…
i know you’re feeling the blues, so i drop riddles in twos
say what they spittin is venom, my fangs be drippin it true
could take a dip in that pool
my actions speak for themselves, ain’t gotta tell it to you
it ain’t no tale that i be tellin, i’m just telling the truth
i went to h-ll, thought it was heaven, now i’m fixin to shoot
in my mind i had a dime; in reality bout a 2..
n imma need a whole dollar for my soul, bruh
know it’s made of gold, but these hoes can’t tell the difference between bronze
thinkin they see kings though they moves really be like p-wns
see i done lost my queen n my heart really broke three times…
don’t be askin me why. see, i ain’t got the reason



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