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mal webb - carrot lyrics

a farmer buys a donkey, he haggles down the price
the seller fella shrugs ok, but he offers this advice…
“respect can’t be demanded, it has to be inspired
a stick won’t make that donkey work, it’s a carrot that’s required
go the carrot, not the stick x2
go the kiss, not the kick
go the bicky, not the brick, go…”

well, that farmer doesn’t listen and off to his farm does trudge
but when he hitches up his plough, the donkey just won’t budge
that shonky donkey just won’t budge
so he rants and raves and he beats the beast, but there are hollers of dismay
as the farmer’s youngest daughter tugs upon his pants to say
“go the carrot…”
say yes to positive, not no to negative
‘cos no to negative is not enough
say yes to positive, not no to negative
preposterously positive, that’s the stuff

well, that farmer pays no heed at all and a fracas does ensue
it’s less than more than he bargained for and he says he’s gunna sue
he’s litigious through and through
but the donkey dealer on the phone laughs off that litigation
“you’re a stubborn fool if you let that mule out-stubborn you all day, son, go…”

now the daughter’s found some carrots and the donkey well approves
he’s got sparkling eyes and flapping ears and a twinkle in his hooves
a twinkle in his hooves
but the farmer bounds back full of beans for a refund’s been agreed
so he’ll never know he’s letting go a strong, speedy steed indeed, if he’d gone…”

will that farmer ever get the point? will his daughter try in vain?
will the donkey find a new farm that makes carrots and champagne?
never real pain again!
respect can’t be demanded, it has to be inspired
and what goes round becomes a round, so a choir is thus required, go….

- mal webb lyrics

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