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manic tl - wake up / purgatory lyrics

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wake up to a bottle of medicine
i guess i’m tryin’ to make sure that i never win
really, my mental been heavy as ever whenever
i’m so focused in on a sedative

i ain’t here b-tchin’ about it
but sh-t just so different without it
it’s not that i’m bitter about it
its just that the size of these mountains

wait (wait)

i need a new outlet, now, i’m drownin’ inside of myself
i know that i’m all on my own, but when i need a home, i stay up ’till it’s mornin’ and write to myself

sometimes i lie to myself like its nothin’ and honest thats just ’cause it ain’t
sometimes i cry to myself like i’m nothin’ and it could take days just to wipe up my face

i f-cked up my pace
really, i’m just tryin’ to recover
these people don’t understand nothin’

honest, if you think i’m trippin’ i really invite you to come call my bluffin’, we’ll have a discussion for once
i’ve dealt with the fussin’ enough
i’m above it like “what do you want?”
this back and forth ain’t been gettin’ me nowhere
but stuck in a rut that’s so deep i can’t find my way up

f-ck it, i hardly breath
but that fact of the matter is simple to see
people are always gonna rain on you, wild, and throw pain on you, nowadays n0body matter to me

really all my embers scattered and we
know we’re ’bout as shattered as people can be
so i’ma just keep me head up, like i believe in love
even though its so easy to leave

(just hold me, just hold me
so lonely, so lonely)

[outro]
could you tell me how to love
could you tell me how to fly
tell me what i need to do
i dont care if its a lie
tell me that i’m comin through
i dont care if its a lie
i dont care if its a-
i dont care if its a-

tell me what i gotta see
tell me you could get me high
tell me who i wanna be
i dont care if its a lie
please remind me how to dream
i dont care if its a lie
i dont care if its a-
i dont care if its a-

[a capella]
a different mask for everyday of the week
even though the city really mostly only be awake while i sleep
and i hardly dream anymore
cuz latley thats been reality
but i went from american dreams to real-life tragedy

i steer life happily through this ravenous maze
but it’s kinda crazy what we’d do stray away from the blaze
ii been studyin’ the road that the catalysts paved
it’s kinda sad that all that shade lead to them havin’ it made

but we been known the world was on some sh-t since back in the day
so i ain’t cryin’ over nothin’ i been packin’ to stay

i guess what i’m tryin’ to say is it ain’t news that it don’t make sense
yo, thats all i really know i’ma know when all my days end
i been contemplatin’ how to open more doors
i went from holes in the walls to the man who holdin’ the torch
and thats the only proof i have to stay on the course
they ain’t know it’s a different lane, i let em lay on the h-rn

i lived half a hundred lives, but still so afraid to die
which is ironic, ’cause i seen death three or four dozen times
but at the end of the night
fate has got no eyes
and no disguise
type of sh-t you can’t escape with a lie

half the world is only focused on somebody to have
while the other half is half mad over money and mags
and i’m somewhere in the middle but still so far from both of ‘em
i want the devil to die, but i’m so far from chokin’ him
’cause see the devil and i, we understand one another

i’ve never got along with n0body better, i guess that life’s an utter
mystery that i’ll spend eternity tryin’ to solve
with my blood, sweat, tears, and my back up against the wall

- manic tl lyrics

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