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manila luzon - the official trailer (intro) lyrics

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[skit]
announcer: in a world where every drag queen releases an alb-m…
woman: we don’t need a backing track
announcer: even if they can’t sing…
woman: we’ll do it a capella!
women: yeah!

announcer: one brave queen returns…
manila luzon: she’s back again? really?
announcer: to stand out from them all…
manila luzon: they don’t know what’s gonna hit them. duck!
*gl-ss shattering*
announcer: by releasing an alb-m even though she can’t sing
manila luzon: (i’m the greatest star)

woman: her name is vanilla?
alaska thunderf-ck: no, with an m. manila, like the envelope
woman: what drag queen names herself after office supplies?

announcer: prepare to go on an ear-gripping journey…
*tires screeching*
announcer: through the discorded melodies of a person whose wig is on way too tight

alaska thunderf-ck: this is real life, not a cd, margaret! you can’t just skip ahead to the next track!
woman: oh, yeah? watch me
*gun shot*
manila luzon: someone call an ambulance; she’s sickening!

announcer: listen as manila struggles to rhyme lyrics…
manila luzon: what rhymes with “mary wrote him?” “dairy frozen?” “fairy totem?” “hairy scrotum!”
announcer: and sing out of her range…
manila luzon: i’m giving it all she’s got, captain! i don’t have the power!
announcer: in an epic quest to get that b hook stuck in your head forever
manila luzon: we can do this the easy way or the hard way

announcer: so get ready in your hottest couture…
alaska thunderf-ck: promise me you’re not wearing that pineapple dress again
announcer: for the musical adventure that only comes once… or twice… or however many times… depending if you leave this alb-m on repeat
woman: here we go again

announcer: manila luzon, rules!

- manila luzon lyrics

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