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marc gunn - the ballad of jenny malloy lyrics

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this is the story of jenny malloy
she was handsome rather than cute—
she went off to sea a+dressed as a boy
till caught in the wrong birthday suit

jenny decided when she was thirteen
that the life of a girl was a bore
so she stole her some trews and a cap and a gun
and left her dull home on the shore

she applied for a berth with black jack murphy
because she had heard he was fair
and he took her on board on the strength of her word
never thinking to check her down there

jenny was clever, she was never caught out
and the crew came to know her as “tim”
they praised the brave lad for the sk!lls that he had
though they wondered why he didn’t swim

for years things went fine, but you can’t alter time…
and—as br++sts do—hers started to grow
she’d bind them up tight, but try as she might
she could not get her voice to stay low

one night out at sea, with the crew in their cups
a bet was proposed by o’hare—
“let’s whip our poles out,” the man he did shout
“and see who’s got inches to spare!”
to the wine+sodden crew, with naught better to do
this seemed like a grand ol’ idear—
but jenny turned white as the sails on the mast
and she prayed to whoever might hear:

“oh, lord, if you’re there, could you lend me a pair—
and give me a handle to crank?
i promise to tithe my whole purse for a year
and i’ll know who exactly to thank!”

but god and the devil were busy that day
or decided she should pay her due—
‘cause the trousers went down in a circle all ‘round
till jenny must lower hers too

her eyes filled with tears as she thought of the years
these men had all been her best mates
then she closed tight her eyes and opened her fly
and delivered herself up to fate

when her trousers went down, there was nary a sound
till the crew as one let out a cheer
for a cabin boy’s fine when you’re sailing the brine
but a woman is worth more than beer!

so jenny went on to fortune and fame
as a pirate both cunning and bold
and her crewmates draw lots for the order of spots
in the queue to her berth in the hold!

- marc gunn lyrics

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