marcel proust - a fresh light (chap. 4) lyrics
chapter four
a fresh light upon robert de saint-loup
“oh, it is unheard-of,” said my mother. “listen, at my age, one has ceased to be astonished at anything, but i -ssure you that there could be nothing more unexpected than what i find in this letter.” “listen, first, to me,” i replied, “i don’t know what it is, but however astonishing it may be, it cannot be quite so astonishing as what i have found in my letter. it is a marriage. it is robert de saint-loup who is marrying gilberte swann.” “ah!” said my mother, “then that is no doubt what is in the other letter, which i have not yet opened, for i recognised your friend’s hand.” and my mother smiled at me with that faint trace of emotion which, ever since she had lost her own mother, she felt at every event however insignificant, that concerned human creatures who were capable of grief, of memory, and who themselves also mourned their dead. and so my mother smiled at me and spoke to me in a gentle voice, as though she had been afraid, were she to treat this marriage lightly, of belittling the melancholy feelings that it might arouse in swann’s widow and daughter, in robert’s mother who had resigned herself to parting from her son, all of whom my mother, in her kindness of heart, in her grat-tude for their kindness to me, endowed with her own faculty of filial, conjugal and maternal emotion. “was i right in telling you that you would find nothing more astonishing?” i asked her. “on the contrary!” she replied in a gentle tone, “it is i who can impart the most extraordinary news, i shall not say the greatest, the smallest, for that quotation from sévigné which everyone makes who knows nothing else that she ever wrote used to distress your grandmother as much as ‘what a charming thing it is to smoke.’ we scorn to pick up such stereotyped sévigné. this letter is to announce the marriage of the cambremer boy.” “oh!” i remarked with indifference, “to whom? but in any case the personality of the bridegroom robs this marriage of any sensational element.” “unless the bride’s personality supplies it.” “and who is the bride in question?” “ah, if i tell you straight away, that will spoil everything; see if you can guess,” said my mother who, seeing that we had not yet reached turin, wished to keep something in reserve for me as meat and drink for the rest of the journey. “but how do you expect me to know? is it anyone brilliant? if legrandin and his sister are satisfied, we may be sure that it is a brilliant marriage.” “as for legrandin, i cannot say, but the person who informs me of the marriage says that mme. de cambremer is delighted. i don’t know whether you will call it a brilliant marriage. to my mind, it suggests the days when kings used to marry shepherdesses, though in this case the shepherdess is even humbler than a shepherdess, charming as she is. it would have stupefied your grandmother, but would not have shocked her.” “but who in the world is this bride?” “it is mlle. d’oloron.” “that sounds to me tremendous and not in the least shepherdessy, but i don’t quite gather who she can be. it is a t-tle that used to be in the guermantes family.” “precisely, and m. de charlus conferred it, when he adopted her, upon jupien’s niece.” “jupien’s niece! it isn’t possible!” “it is the reward of virtue. it is a marriage from the last chapter of one of mme. sand’s novels,” said my mother. “it is the reward of vice, it is a marriage from the end of a balzac novel,” thought i. “after all,” i said to my mother, “when you come to think of it, it is quite natural. here are the cambremers established in that guermantes clan among which they never hoped to pitch their tent; what is more, the girl, adopted by m. de charlus, will have plenty of money, which was indispensable now that the cambremers have lost theirs; and after all she is the adopted daughter, and, in the cambremers’ eyes, probably the real daughter — the natural daughter — of a person whom they regard as a prince of the blood royal. a b-st-rd of a semi-royal house has always been regarded as a flattering alliance by the n0bility of france and other countries. indeed, without going so far back, only the other day, not more than six months ago, don’t you remember, the marriage of robert’s friend and that girl, the only possible justification of which was that she was supposed, rightly or wrongly, to be the natural daughter of a sovereign prince.” my mother, without abandoning the caste system of combray which meant that my grandmother would have been scandalised by such a marriage, being princ-p-lly anxious to echo her mother’s judgment, added: “anyhow, the girl is worth her weight in gold, and your dear grandmother would not have had to draw upon her immense goodness, her unbounded indulgence, to keep her from condemning young cambremer’s choice. do you remember how distinguished she thought the girl, years ago, one day when she went into the shop to have a st-tch put in her skirt? she was only a child then. and now, even if she has rather run to seed, and become an old maid, she is a different woman, a thousand times more perfect. but your grandmother saw all that at a glance. she found the little niece of a jobbing tailor more ‘n0ble’ than the duc de guermantes.” but even more necessary than to extol my grandmother was it for my mother to decide that it was ‘better’ for her that she had not lived to see the day. this was the supreme triumph of her filial devotion, as though she were sparing my grandmother a final grief. “and yet, can you imagine for a moment,” my mother said to me, “what old father swann — not that you ever knew him, of course — would have felt if he could have known that he would one day have a great-grandchild in whose veins the blood of mother moser who used to say: ‘ponchour mezieurs’ would mingle with the blood of the duc de guise!” “but listen, mamma, it is a great deal more surprising than that. for the swanns were very respectable people, and, given the position that their son occupied, his daughter, if he himself had made a decent marriage, might have married very well indeed. but all her chances were ruined by his marrying a courtesan.” “oh, a courtesan, you know, people were perhaps rather hard on her, i never quite believed.” “yes, a courtesan, indeed i can let you have some startling revelations one of these days.” lost in meditation, my mother said: “the daughter of a woman to whom your father would never allow me to bow marrying the nephew of mme. de villeparisis, upon whom your father wouldn’t allow me to call at first because he thought her too grand for me!” then: “the son of mme. de cambremer to whom legrandin was so afraid of having to give us a letter of introduction because he didn’t think us smart enough, marrying the niece of a man who would never dare to come to our flat except by the service stairs! . . . all the same your poor grandmother was right — you remember — when she said that the great n0bility could do things that would shock the middle cl-sses and that queen marie-amélie was spoiled for her by the overtures that she made to the prince de condé‘s mistress to persuade him to leave his fortune to the due d’aumale. you remember too, it shocked her that for centuries past daughters of the house of gramont who have been perfect saints have borne the name corisande in memory of henri iv’s connexion with one of their ancestresses. these are things that may happen also, perhaps, among the middle cl-sses, but we conceal them better. can’t you imagine how it would have amused her, your poor grandmother?” said mamma sadly, for the joys of which it grieved us to think that my grandmother was deprived were the simplest joys of life, a tale, a play, something more trifling still, a piece of mimicry, which would have amused her, “can’t you imagine her astonishment? i am sure, however, that your grandmother would have been shocked by these marriages, that they would have grieved her, i feel that it is better that she never knew about them,” my mother went on, for, when confronted with any event, she liked to think that my grandmother would have received a unique impression of it which would have been caused by the marvellous singularity of her nature and had an extraordinary importance. did anything painful occur, which could not have been foreseen in the past, the disgrace or ruin of one of our old friends, some public calamity, an epidemic, a war, a revolution, my mother would say to herself that perhaps it was better that grandmamma had known nothing about it, that it would have distressed her too keenly, that perhaps she would not have been able to endure it. and when it was a question of something startling like this, my mother, by an impulse directly opposite to that of the malicious people who like to imagine that others whom they do not like have suffered more than is generally supposed, would not, in her affection for my grandmother, allow that anything sad, or depressing, could ever have happened to her. she always imagined my grandmother as raised above the -ssaults even of any malady which ought not to have developed, and told herself that my grandmother’s death had perhaps been a good thing on the whole, inasmuch as it had shut off the too ugly spectacle of the present day from that n0ble character which could never have become resigned to it. for optimism is the philosophy of the past. the events that have occurred being, among all those that were possible, the only ones which we have known, the harm that they have caused seems to us inevitable, and, for the slight amount of good that they could not help bringing with them, it is to them that we give the credit, imagining that without them it would not have occurred. but she sought at the same time to form a more accurate idea of what my grandmother would have felt when she learned these tidings, and to believe that it was impossible for our minds, less exalted than hers, to form any such idea. “can’t you imagine,” my mother said to me first of all, “how astonished your poor grandmother would have been!” and i felt that my mother was pained by her inability to tell her the news, regretted that my grandmother could not learn it, and felt it to be somehow unjust that the course of life should bring to light facts which my grandmother would never have believed, rendering thus retrospectively the knowledge which my grandmother had taken with her of people and society false, and incomplete, the marriage of the jupien girl and legrandin’s nephew being calculated to modify my grandmother’s general ideas of life, no less than the news — had my mother been able to convey it to her — that people had succeeded in solving the problems, which my grandmother had regarded as insoluble, of aerial navigation and wireless telegraphy
the train reached paris before my mother and i had finished discussing these two pieces of news which, so that the journey might not seem to me too long, she had deliberately reserved for the latter part of it, not mentioning them until we had p-ssed milan. and my mother continued the discussion after we had reached home: “just imagine, that poor swann who was so anxious that his gilberte should be received by the guermantes, how happy he would be if he could see his daughter become a guermantes!” “under another name, led to the altar as mlle. de forcheville, do you think he would be so happy after all?” “ah, that is true. i had not thought of it. that is what makes it impossible for me to congratulate the little chit, the thought that she has had the heart to give up her father’s name, when he was so good to her. — yes, you are right, when all is said and done, it is perhaps just as well that he knows nothing about it.” with the dead as with the living, we cannot tell whether a thing would cause them joy or sorrow. “it appears that the saint-loups are going to live at tansonville. old father swann, who was so anxious to shew your poor grandfather his pond, could he ever have dreamed that the duc de guermantes would see it constantly, especially if he had known of his son’s marriage? and you yourself who have talked so often to saint-loup about the pink hawth-rns and lilacs and irises at tansonville, he will understand you better. they will be his property.” thus there developed in our dining-room, in the lamplight that is so congenial to them, one of those talks in which the wisdom not of nations but of families, taking hold of some event, a death, a betrothal, an inheritance, a bankruptcy, and slipping it under the magnifying gl-ss of memory, brings it into high relief, detaches, thrusts back one surface of it, and places in perspective at different points in sp-ce and time what, to those who have not lived through the period in question, seems to be amalgamated upon a single surface, the names of dead people, successive addresses, the origins and changes of fortunes, transmissions of property. is not this wisdom inspired by the muse whom it is best to ignore for as long as possible, if we wish to retain any freshness of impressions, any creative power, but whom even those people who have ignored her meet in the evening of their life in the have of the old country church, at the hour when all of a sudden they feel that they are less moved by eternal beauty as expressed in the carvings of the altar than by the thought of the vicissitudes of fortune which those carvings have undergone, p-ssing into a famous private collection, to a chapel, from there to a museum, then returning at length to the church, or by the feeling as they tread upon a marble slab that is almost endowed with thought, that it covers the last remains of arnault or pascal, or simply by deciphering (forming perhaps a mental picture of a fair young worshipper) on the br-ss plate of the wooden prayer-desk, the names of the daughters of country squire or leading citizen? the muse who has gathered up everything that the more exalted muses of philosophy and art have rejected, everything that is not founded upon truth, everything that is merely contingent, but that reveals other laws as well, is history
what i was to learn later on — for i had been unable to keep in touch with all this affair from venice — was that mlle. de forcheville’s hand had been sought first of all by the prince de silistrie, while saint-loup was seeking to marry mlle. d’entragues, the duc de luxembourg’s daughter. this is what had occurred. mlle. de forcheville possessing a hundred million francs, mme. de marsantes had decided that she would be an excellent match for her son. she made the mistake of saying that the girl was charming, that she herself had not the slightest idea whether she was rich or poor, that she did not wish to know, but that even without a penny it would be a piece of good luck for the most exacting of young men to find such a wife. this was going rather too far for a woman who was tempted only by the hundred millions, which blinded her eyes to everything else. at once it was understood that she was thinking of the girl for her own son. the princesse de silistrie went about uttering loud cries, expatiated upon the social importance of saint-loup, and proclaimed that if he should marry odette’s daughter by a jew then there was no longer a faubourg saint-germain. mme. de marsantes, sure of herself as she was, dared not advance farther and retreated before the cries of the princesse de silistrie, who immediately made a proposal in the name of her own son. she had protested only in order to keep gilberte for herself. meanwhile mme. de marsantes, refusing to own herself defeated, had turned at once to mlle. d’entragues, the duc de luxembourg’s daughter. having no more than twenty millions, she suited her purpose less, but mme. de marsantes told everyone that a saint-loup could not marry a mlle. swann ( there was no longer any mention of forcheville). some time later, somebody having carelessly observed that the duc de châtellerault was thinking of marrying mlle. d’entragues, mme. de marsantes who was the most captious woman in the world mounted her high horse, changed her tactics, returned to gilberte, made a formal offer of marriage on saint-loup’s behalf, and the engagement was immediately announced. this engagement provoked keen comment in the most different spheres. some old friends of my mother, who belonged more or less to combray, came to see her to discuss gilberte’s marriage, which did not dazzle them in the least. “you know who mlle. de forcheville is, she is simply mlle. swann. and her witness at the marriage, the ‘baron’ de charlus, as he calls himself, is the old man who used to keep her mother at one time, under swann’s very nose, and no doubt to his advantage.” “but what do you mean?” my mother protested. “in the first place, swann was extremely rich.” “we must -ssume that he was not as rich as all that if he needed other people’s money. but what is there in the woman, that she keeps her old lovers like that? she has managed to persuade the third to marry her and she drags out the second when he has one foot in the grave to make him act at the marriage of the daughter she had by the first or by some one else, for how is one to tell who the father was? she can’t be certain herself! i said the third, it is the three hundredth i should have said. but then, don’t you know, if she’s no more a forcheville than you or i, that puts her on the same level as the bridegroom who of course isn’t n0ble at all. only an adventurer would marry a girl like that. it appears he’s just a plain monsieur dupont or durand or something. if it weren’t that we have a radical mayor now at combray, who doesn’t even lift his hat to the priest, i should know all about it. because, you understand, when they published the banns, they were obliged to give the real name. it is all very nice for the newspapers or for the stationer who sends out the intimations, to describe yourself as the marquis de saint-loup. that does no harm to anyone, and if it can give any pleasure to those worthy people, i should be the last person in the world to object! what harm can it do me? as i shall never dream of going to call upon the daughter of a woman who has let herself be talked about, she can have a string of t-tles as long as my arm before her servants. but in an official doc-ment it’s not the same thing. ah, if my cousin sazerat were still deputy-mayor, i should have written to him, and he would certainly have let me know what name the man was registered under.”
other friends of my mother who had met saint-loup in our house came to her ‘day,’ and inquired whether the bridegroom was indeed the same person as my friend. certain people went so far as to maintain, with regard to the other marriage, that it had nothing to do with the legrandin cambremers. they had this on good authority, for the marquise, néelegrandin, had contradicted the rumour on the very eve of the day on which the engagement was announced. i, for my part, asked myself why m. de charlus on the one hand, saint-loup on the other, each of whom had had occasion to write to me quite recently, had made various friendly plans and proposed expeditions, which must inevitably have clashed with the wedding ceremonies, and had said nothing whatever to me about these. i came to the conclusion, forgetting the secrecy which people always preserve until the last moment in affairs of this sort, that i was less their friend than i had supposed, a conclusion which, so far as saint-loup was concerned, distressed me. though why, when i had already remarked that the affability, the ‘one-man-to-another’ att-tude of the aristocracy was all a sham, should i be surprised to find myself its victim? in the establishment for women — where men were now to be procured in increasing numbers — in which m. de charlus had surprised morel, and in which the ‘-ssistant matron,’ a great reader of the gaulois, used to discuss the social gossip with her clients, this lady, while conversing with a stout gentleman who used to come to her incessantly to drink champagne with young men, because, being already very stout, he wished to become obese enough to be certain of not being ‘called up,’ should there ever be a war, declared: “it seems, young saint-loup is ‘one of those’ and young cambremer too. poor wives! — in any case, if you know the bridegrooms, you must send them to us, they will find everything they want here, and there’s plenty of money to be made out of them.” whereupon the stout gentleman, albeit he was himself ‘one of those,’ protested, replied, being something of a sn0b, that he often met cambremer and saint-loup at his cousins’ the ardouvillers, and that they were great womanisers, and quite the opposite of ‘all that.’ “ah!” the -ssistant matron concluded in a sceptical tone, but without any proof of the -ssertion, and convinced that in our generation the perversity of morals was rivalled only by the absurd exaggeration of slanderous rumours. certain people whom i no longer saw wrote to me and asked me ‘what i thought’ of these two marriages, precisely as though they had been inviting a public discussion of the height of women’s hats in the theatre or the psychological novel. i had not the heart to answer these letters. of these two marriages, i thought nothing at all, but i did feel an immense melancholy, as when two parts of our past existence, which have been anch0r-d near to us, and upon which we have perhaps been basing idly from day to day an unacknowledged hope, remove themselves finally, with a joyous crackling of flames, for unknown destinations, like two vessels on the high seas. as for the prospective bridegrooms themselves, they regarded their own marriages from a point of view that was quite natural, since it was a question not of other people but of themselves. they had never tired of mocking at such ‘grand marriages’ founded upon some secret shame. and indeed the cambremer family, so ancient in its lineage and so modest in its pretensions, would have been the first to forget jupien and to remember only the unimaginable grandeur of the house of oloron, had not an exception occurred in the person who ought to have been most gratified by this marriage, the marquise de cambremer-legrandin. for, being of a malicious nature, she reckoned the pleasure of humiliating her family above that of glorifying herself. and so, as she had no affection for her son, and was not long in taking a dislike to her daughter-in-law, she declared that it was calamity for a cambremer to marry a person who had sprung from heaven knew where, and had such bad t–th. as for young cambremer, who had already shewn a certain tendency to frequent the society of literary people, we may well imagine that so brilliant an alliance had not the effect of making him more of a sn0b than before, but that feeling himself to have become the successor of the ducs d’oloron —‘sovereign princes’ as the newspapers said — he was sufficiently persuaded of his own importance to be able to mix with the very humblest people. and he deserted the minor n0bility for the intelligent bourgeoisie on the days when he did not confine himself to royalty. the notices in the papers, especially when they referred to saint-loup, invested my friend, whose royal ancestors were enumerated, in a fresh importance, which however could only depress me — as though he had become some one else, the descendant of robert the strong, rather than the friend who, only a little while since, had taken the back seat in the carriage in order that i might be more comfortable in the other; the fact that i had had no previous suspicion of his marriage with gilberte, the prospect of which had been revealed to me suddenly in a letter, so different from anything that i could have expected of either him or her the day before, and the fact that he had not let me know pained me, whereas i ought to have reflected that he had had a great many other things to do, and that moreover in the fashionable world marriages are often arranged like this all of a sudden, generally as a subst-tute for a different combination which has come to grief — unexpectedly — like a chemical precipitation. and the feeling of sadness, as depressing as a household removal, as bitter as jealousy, that these marriages caused me by the accident of their sudden impact was so profound, that later on people used to remind me of it, paying absurd compliments to my perspicacity, as having been just the opposite of what it was at the time, a twofold, nay a threefold and fourfold presentiment
the people in society who had taken no notice of gilberte said to me with an air of serious interest: “ah! it is she who is marrying the marquis de saint-loup” and studied her with the attentive gaze of people who not merely relish all the social gossip of paris but are anxious to learn, and believe in the profundity of their own introspection. those who on the other hand had known gilberte alone gazed at saint-loup with the closest attention, asked me (these were often people who barely knew me) to introduce them and returned from their presentation to the bridegroom radiant with the bliss of fatuity, saying to me: “he is very nice looking.” gilberte was convinced that the name ‘marquis de saint-loup’ was a thousand times more important than ‘duc d’orléans.’
“it appears that it is the princesse de parme who arranged young cambremer’s marriage,” mamma told me. and this was true. the princess had known for a long time, on the one hand, by his works, legrandin whom she regarded as a distinguished man, on the other hand mme. de cambremer who changed the conversation whenever the princess asked her whether she was not legrandin’s sister. the princess knew how keenly mme. de cambremer felt her position on the doorstep of the great aristocratic world, in which she was invited nowhere. when the princesse de parme, who had undertaken to find a husband for mlle. d’oloron, asked m. de charlus whether he had ever heard of a pleasant, educated man who called himself legrandin de méséglise (thus it was that m. legrandin now styled himself), the baron first of all replied in the negative, then suddenly a memory occurred to him of a man whose acquaintance he had made in the train, one night, and who had given him his card. he smiled a vague smile. “it is perhaps the same person,” he said to himself. when he discovered that the prospective bridegroom was the son of legrandin’s sister, he said: “why, that would be really extraordinary! if he takes after his uncle, after all, that would not alarm me, i have always said that they make the best husbands.” “who are they?” inquired the princess. “oh, ma’am, i could explain it all to you if we met more often. with you one can talk freely. your highness is so intelligent,” said charlus, seized by a desire to confide in some one which, however, went no farther. the name cambremer appealed to him, although he did not like the boy’s parents, but he knew that it was one of the four baronies of brittany and the best that he could possibly hope for his adopted daughter; it was an old and respected name, with solid connexions in its native province. a prince would have been out of the question and, moreover, not altogether desirable. this was the very thing. the princess then invited legrandin to call. in appearance he had considerably altered, and, of late, distinctly to his advantage. like those women who deliberately sacrifice their faces to the slimness of their figures and never stir from marienbad, legrandin had acquired the free and easy air of a cavalry officer. in proportion as m. de charlus had grown co-rs- and slow, legrandin had become slimmer and moved more rapidly, the contrary effect of an identical cause. this velocity of movement had its psychological reasons as well. he was in the habit of frequenting certain low haunts where he did not wish to be seen going in or coming out: he would hurl himself into them. legrandin had taken up tennis at the age of fifty-five. when the princesse de parme spoke to him of the guermantes, of saint-loup, he declared that he had known them all his life, making a sort of composition of the fact of his having always known by name the proprietors of guermantes and that of his having met, at my aunt’s house, swann, the father of the future mme. de saint-loup, swann upon whose wife and daughter legrandin, at combray, had always refused to call. “indeed, i travelled quite recently with the brother of the duc de guermantes, m. de charlus. he began the conversation spontaneously, which is always a good sign, for it proves that a man is neither a tongue-tied lout nor stuck-up. oh, i know all the things that people say about him. but i never pay any attention to gossip of that sort. besides, the private life of other people does not concern me. he gave me the impression of a sensitive nature, and a cultivated mind.” then the princesse de parme spoke of mlle. d’oloron. in the guermantes circle people were moved by the n0bility of heart of m. de charlus who, generous as he had always been, was securing the future happiness of a penniless but charming girl. and the duc de guermantes, who suffered from his brother’s reputation, let it be understood that, fine as this conduct was, it was wholly natural. “i don’t know if i make myself clear, everything in the affair is natural,” he said, speaking ineptly by force of habit. but his object was to indicate that the girl was a daughter of his brother whom the latter was acknowledging. this accounted at the same time for jupien. the princesse de parme hinted at this version of the story to shew legrandin that after all young cambremer would be marrying something in the nature of mlle. de nantes, one of those b-st-rds of louis xiv who were not scorned either by the duc d’orléans or by the prince de conti. these two marriages which i had already begun to discuss with my mother in the train that brought us back to paris had quite remarkable effects upon several of the characters who have figured in the course of this narrative. first of all upon legrandin; needless to say that he swept like a hurricane into m. de charlus’s town house for all the world as though he were entering a house of ill-fame where he must on no account be seen, and also, at the same time, to display his activity and to conceal his age — for our habits accompany us even into places where they are no longer of any use to us — and scarcely anybody observed that when m. de charlus greeted him he did so with a smile which it was hard to intercept, harder still to interpret; this smile was similar in appearance, and in its essentials was diametrically opposite to the smile which two men, who are in the habit of meeting in good society, exchange if they happen to meet in what they regard as disreputable surroundings (such as the elysée where general de froberville, whenever, in days past, he met swann there, would -ssume, on catching sight of him, an expression of ironical and mysterious complicity appropriate between two frequenters of the drawing-room of the princesse des laumes who were compromising themselves by visiting m. grevy). legrandin had been cultivating obscurely for a long time past — ever since the days when i used to go as a child to spend my holidays at combray — relations with the aristocracy, productive at the most of an isolated invitation to a sterile house party. all of a sudden, his nephew’s marriage having intervened to join up these scattered fragments, legrandin stepped into a social position which retroactively derived a sort of solidity from his former relations with people who had known him only as a private person but had known him well. ladies to whom people offered to introduce him informed them that for the last twenty years he had stayed with them in the country for a fortnight annually, and that it was he who had given them the beautiful old barometer in the small drawing-room. it so happened that he had been photographed in ‘groups’ which included dukes who were related to them. but as soon as he had acquired this social position, he ceased to make any use of it. this was not merely because, how that people knew him to be received everywhere, he no longer derived any pleasure from being invited, it was because, of the two vices that had long struggled for the mastery of him, the less natural, sn0bbishness, yielded its place to another that was less artificial, since it did at least shew a sort of return, albeit circuitous, towards nature. no doubt the two are not incompatible, and a nocturnal tour of exploration of a slum may be made immediately upon leaving a d-ch-ss’s party. but the chilling effect of age made legrandin reluctant to acc-mulate such an abundance of pleasures, to stir out of doors except with a definite purpose, and had also the effect that the pleasures of nature became more or less platonic, consisting chiefly in friendships, in conversations which took up time, and made him spend almost all his own among the lower orders, so that he had little left for a social existence. mme. de cambremer herself became almost indifferent to the friendly overtures of the d-ch-sse de guermantes. the latter, obliged to call upon the marquise, had noticed, as happens whenever we come to see more of our fellow-creatures, that is to say combinations of good qualities which we end by discovering with defects to which we end by growing accustomed, that mme. de cambremer was a woman endowed with an innate intelligence and an acquired culture of which for my part i thought but little, but which appeared remarkable to the d-ch-ss. and so she often came, late in the afternoon, to see mme. de cambremer and paid her long visits. but the marvellous charm which her hostess imagined as existing in the d-ch-sse de guermantes vanished as soon as she saw that the other sought her company, and she received her rather out of politeness than for her own pleasure. a more striking change was manifest in gilberte, a change at once symmetrical with and different from that which had occurred in swann after his marriage. it is true that during the first few months gilberte had been glad to open her doors to the most select company. it was doubtless only with a view to an eventual inheritance that she invited the intimate friends to whom her mother was attached, but on certain days only when there was no one but themselves, secluded apart from the fashionable people, as though the contact of mme. bontemps or mme. cottard with the princesse de guermantes or the princesse de parme might, like that of two unstable powders, have produced irreparable catastrophes. nevertheless the bontemps, the cottards and such, although disappointed by the smallness of the party, were proud of being able to say: “we were dining with the marquise de saint-loup,” all the more so as she ventured at times so far as to invite, with them, mme. de marsantes, who was emphatically the ‘great lady’ with a fan of tortoise-sh-ll and ostrich feathers, this again being a piece of legacy-hunting. she only took care to pay from time to time a tribute to the discreet people whom one never sees except when they are invited, a warning with which she bestowed upon her audience of the cottard-bontemps cl-ss her most gracious and distant greeting. perhaps i should have preferred to be included in these parties. but gilberte, in whose eyes i was now princ-p-lly a friend of her husband and of the guermantes (and who — perhaps even in the combray days, when my parents did not call upon her mother — had, at the age when we do not merely add this or that to the value of things but cl-ssify them according to their species, endowed me with that prestige which we never afterwards lose), regarded these evenings as unworthy of me, and when i took my leave of her would say: “it has been delightful to see you, but come again the day after to-morrow, you will find my aunt guermantes, and mme. de poix; to-day i just had a few of mamma’s friends, to please mamma.” but this state of things lasted for a few months only, and very soon everything was altered. was this because gilberte’s social life was fated to exhibit the same contrasts as swann’s? however that may be, gilberte had been only for a short time marquise de saint-loup (in the process of becoming, as we shall see, d-ch-sse de guermantes)† when, having attained to the most brilliant and most difficult position, she decided that the name saint-loup was now embodied in herself like a glowing enamel and that, whoever her -ssociates might be, from now onwards she would remain for all the world marquise de saint-loup, wherein she was mistaken, for the value of a t-tle of n0bility, like that of shares in a company, rises with the demand and falls when it is offered in the market
† translator’s footnote: this is quite inexplicable. gilberte reappears as saint-loup’s widow while the duc de guermantes and his wife are still alive
everything that seems to us imperishable tends to destruction; a position in society, like anything else, is not created once and for all time, but, just as much as the power of an empire, reconstructs itself at every moment by a sort of perpetual process of creation, which explains the apparent anomalies in social or political history in the course of half a century. the creation of the world did not occur at the beginning of time, it occurs every day. the marquise de saint-loup said to herself, “i am the marquise de saint-loup,” she knew that, the day before, she had refused three invitations to dine with d-ch-sses. but if, to a certain extent, her name exalted the cl-ss of people, as little aristocratic as possible, whom she entertained, by an inverse process, the cl-ss of people whom the marquise entertained depreciated the name that she bore. nothing can hold out against such processes, the greatest names succ-mb to them in the end. had not swann known a d-ch-ss of the house of france whose drawing-room, because any tom, d-ck or harry was welcomed there, had fallen to the lowest rank? one day when the princesse des laumes had gone from a sense of duty to call for a moment upon this highness, in whose drawing-room she had found only the most ordinary people, arriving immediately afterwards at mme. leroi’s, she had said to swann and the marquis de modène: “at last i find myself upon friendly soil. i have just come from mme. la d-ch-sse de x — there weren’t three faces i knew in the room.” sharing, in short, the opinion of the character in the operetta who declares: “my name, i think, dispenses me from saying more,” gilberte set to work to flaunt her contempt for what she had so ardently desired, to proclaim that all the people in the faubourg saint-germain were idiots, people to whose houses one could not go, and, suiting the action to the word, ceased to go to them. people who did not make her acquaintance until after this epoch, and who, in the first stages of that acquaintance, heard her, by that time d-ch-sse de guermantes, make the most absurd fun of the world in which she could so easily have moved, seeing that she never invited a single person out of that world, and that if any of them, even the most brilliant, ventured into her drawing-room, she would yawn openly in their faces, blush now in retrospect at the thought that they themselves could ever have seen any claim to distinction in the fashionable world, and would never dare to confess this humiliating secret of their past weaknesses to a woman whom they suppose to have been, owing to an essential loftiness of her nature, incapable from her earliest moments of understanding such things. they hear her poke such delicious fun at dukes, and see her (which is more significant) make her behaviour accord so entirely with her mockery! no doubt they do not think of inquiring into the causes of the accident which turned mlle. swann into mlle. de forcheville, mlle. de forcheville into the marquise de saint-loup, and finally into the d-ch-sse de guermantes. possibly it does not occur to them either that the effects of this accident would serve no less than its causes to explain gilberte’s subsequent att-tude, the habit of mixing with upstarts not being regarded quite in the same light in which mlle. swann would have regarded it by a lady whom everybody addresses as ‘madame la d-ch-sse’ and the other d-ch-sses who bore her as ‘cousin.’ we are always ready to despise a goal which we have not succeeded in reaching, or have permanently reached. and this contempt seems to us to form part of the character of people whom we do not yet know. perhaps if we were able to retrace the course of past years, we should find them devoured, more savagely than anyone, by those same weaknesses which they have succeeded so completely in concealing or conquering that we reckon them incapable not only of having ever been attacked by them themselves, but even of ever excusing them in other people, let alone being capable of imagining them. anyhow, very soon the drawing-room of the new marquise de saint-loup -ssumed its permanent aspect, from the social point of view at least, for we shall see what troubles were brewing in it in another connexion; well, this aspect was surprising for the following reason: people still remembered that the most formal, the most exclusive parties in paris, as brilliant as those given by the d-ch-sse de guermantes, were those of mme. de marsantes, saint-loup’s mother. on the other hand, in recent years, odette’s drawing-room, infinitely lower in the social scale, had been no less dazzling in its elegance and splendour. saint-loup, however, delighted to have, thanks to his wife’s vast fortune, everything that he could desire in the way of comfort, wished only to rest quietly in his armchair after a good dinner with a musical entertainment by good performers. and this young man who had seemed at one time so proud, so ambitious, invited to share his luxury old friends whom his mother would not have admitted to her house. gilberte, on her side, put into effect swann’s saying: “quality doesn’t matter, what i dread is quant-ty.” and saint-loup, always on his knees before his wife, and because he loved her, and because it was to her that he owed these extremes of comfort, took care not to interfere with tastes that were so similar to his own. with the result that the great receptions given by mme. de marsantes and mme. de forcheville, given year after year with an eye chiefly to the establishment, upon a brilliant footing, of their children, gave rise to no reception by m. and mme. de saint-loup. they had the best of saddle-horses on which to go out riding together, the finest of yachts in which to cruise — but they never took more than a couple of guests with them. in paris, every evening, they would invite three or four friends to dine, never more; with the result that, by an unforeseen but at the same time quite natural retrogression, the two vast maternal aviaries had been replaced by a silent nest
the person who profited least by these two marriages was the young mademoiselle d’oloron who, already suffering from typhoid fever on the day of the religious ceremony, was barely able to crawl to the church and died a few weeks later. the letter of intimation that was sent out some time after her death blended with names such as jupien’s those of almost all the greatest families in europe, such as the vicomte and vicomtesse de montmorency, h.r.h. the comtesse de bourbon-soissons, the prince of modena-este, the vicomtesse d’edumea, lady ess-x, and so forth. no doubt even to a person who knew that the deceased was jupien’s niece, this plethora of grand connexions would not cause any surprise. the great thing, after all, is to have grand connexions. then, the casus foederiscoming into play, the death of a simple little shop-girl plunges all the princely families of europe in mourning. but many young men of a later generation, who were not familiar with the facts, might, apart from the possibility of their mistaking marie-antoinette d’oloron, marquise de cambremer, for a lady of the n0blest birth, have been guilty of many other errors when they read this communication. thus, supposing their excursions through france to have given them some slight familiarity with the country round combray, when they saw that the comte de méséglise figured among the first of the signatories, close to the duc de guermantes, they might not have felt any surprise. “the méséglise way,” they might have said, “converges with the guermantes way, old and n0ble families of the same region may have been allied for generations. who knows? it is perhaps a branch of the guermantes family which bears the t-tle of comte de méséglise.” as it happened, the comte de méséglise had no connexion with the guermantes and was not even enrolled on the guermantes side, but on the cambremer side, since the comte de méséglise, who by a rapid advancement had been for two years only legrandin de méséglise, was our old friend legrandih. no doubt, taking one false t-tle with another, there were few that could have been so disagreeable to the guermantes as this. they had been connected in the past with the authentic comtes de méséglise, of whom there survived only one female descendant, the daughter of obscure and un-ssuming parents, married herself to one of my aunt’s tenant fanners named ménager, who had become rich and bought mirougrain from her and now styled himself ‘ménager de mirougrain,’ with the result that when you said that his wife was born ‘de méséglise’ people thought that she must simply have been born at méséglise and that she was ‘of méséglise’ as her husband was ‘of mirougrain.’
any other sham t-tle would have caused less annoyance to the guermantes family. but the aristocracy knows how to tolerate these irritations and many others as well, the moment that a marriage which is deemed advantageous, from whatever point of view, is in question. shielded by the duc de guermantes, legrandin was, to part of that generation, and will be to the whole of the generation that follows it, the true comte de méséglise
yet another mistake which any young reader not acquainted with the facts might have been led to make was that of supposing that the baron and baronne de forcheville figured on the list in their capacity as parents-in-law of the marquis de saint-loup, that is to say on the guermantes side. but on this side, they had no right to appear since it was robert who was related to the guermantes and not gilberte. no, the baron and baronne de forcheville, despite this misleading suggestion, did figure on the wife’s side, it is true, and not on the cambremer side, because not of the guermantes, but of jupien, who, the reader must now be told, was a cousin of odette
all m. de charlus’s favour had been lavished since the marriage of his adopted niece upon the young marquis de cambremer; the young man’s tastes which were similar to those of the baron, since they had not prevented the baron from selecting him as a husband for mlle. d’oloron, made him, as was only natural, appreciate him all the more when he was left a widower. this is not to say that the marquis had not other qualities which made him a charming companion for m. de charlus. but even in the case of a man of real merit, it is an advantage that is not disdained by the person who admits him into his private life and one that makes him particularly useful that he can also play whist. the intelligence of the young marquis was remarkable and as they had already begun to say at féterne when he was barely out of his cradle, he ‘took’ entirely after his grandmother, had the same enthusiasms, the same love of music. he reproduced also some of her peculiarities, but these more by imitation, like all the rest of the family, than from atavism. thus it was that, some time after the death of his wife, having received a letter signed ‘léonor,’ a name which i did not remember as being his, i realised who it was that had written to me only when i had read the closing formula: “croyez à ma sympathie vraie,” the word ‘vraiev, coming in that order, added to the christian name léonor the surname cambremer
about this time i used to see a good deal of gilberte with whom i had renewed my old intimacy: for our life, in the long run, is not calculated according to the duration of our friendships. let a certain period of time elapse and you will see reappear (just as former ministers reappear in politics, as old plays are revived on the stage) friendly relations that have been revived between the same persons as before, after long years of interruption, and revived with pleasure. after ten years, the reasons which made one party love too p-ssionately, the other unable to endure a too exacting despotism, no longer exist. convention alone survives, and everything that gilberte would have refused me in the past, that had seemed to her intolerable, impossible, she granted me quite readily — doubtless because i no longer desired it. although neither of us avowed to himself the reason for this change, if she was always ready to come to me, never in a hurry to leave me, it was because the obstacle had vanished: my love
i went, moreover, a little later to spend a few days at tansonville. the move i found rather a nuisance, for i was keeping a girl in paris who slept in the bachelor flat which i had rented. as other people need the aroma of forests or the ripple of a lake, so i needed her to sleep near at hand during the night and by day to have her always by my side in the carriage. for even if one love p-sses into oblivion, it may determine the form of the love that is to follow it. already, in the heart even of the previous love, daily habits existed, the origin of which we did not ourselves recall. it was an anguish of a former day that had made us think with longing, then adopt in a permanent fashion, like customs the meaning of which has been forgotten, those homeward drives to the beloved’s door, or her residence in our home, our presence or the presence of some one in whom we have confidence upon all her outings, all these habits, like great uniform highroads along which our love p-sses daily and which were forged long ago in the volcanic fire of an ardent emotion. but these habits survive the woman, survive even the memory of the woman. they become the pattern, if not of all our loves, at least of certain of our loves which alternate with the others. and thus my home had demanded, in memory of a forgotten albertine, the presence of my mistress of the moment whom i concealed from visitors and who filled my life as albertine had filled it in the past. and before i could go to tansonville i had to make her promise that she would place herself in the hands of one of my friends who did not care for women, for a few days
i had heard that gilberte was unhappy, betrayed by robert, but not in the fashion which everyone supposed, which perhaps she herself still supposed, which in any case she alleged. an opinion that was justified by self-esteem, the desire to hoodwink other people, to hoodwink herself, not to mention the imperfect knowledge of his infidelities which is all that betrayed spouses ever acquire, all the more so as robert, a true nephew of m. de charlus, went about openly with women whom he compromised, whom the world believed and whom gilberte supposed more or less to be his mistresses. it was even thought in society that he was too barefaced, never stirring, at a party, from the side of some woman whom he afterwards accompanied home, leaving mme. de saint-loup to return as best she might. anyone who had said that the other woman whom he compromised thus was not really his mistress would have been regarded as a fool, incapable of seeing what was staring him in the face, but i had been pointed, alas, in the direction of the truth, a truth which caused me infinite distress, by a few words let fall by jupien. what had been my amazement when, having gone, a few months before my visit to tansonville, to inquire for m. de charlus, in whom certain cardiac symptoms had been causing his friends great anxiety, and having mentioned to jupien, whom i found by himself, some love-letters addressed to robert and signed bobette which mme. de saint-loup had discovered, i learned from the baron’s former factotum that the person who used the signature bobette was none other than the violinist who had played so important a part in the life of m. de charlus. jupien could not speak of him without indignation: “the boy was free to do what he chose. but if there was one direction in which he ought never to have looked, that was the baron’s nephew. all the more so as the baron loved his nephew like his own son. he has tried to separate the young couple, it is scandalous. and he must have gone about it with the most devilish cunning, or no one was ever more opposed to that sort of thing than the marquis de saint-loup. to think of all the mad things he has done for his mistresses! no, that wretched musician may have deserted the baron as he did, by a mean trick, i don’t mind saying; still, that was his business. but to take up with the nephew, there are certain things that are not done.” jupien was sincere in his indignation; among people who are styled immoral, moral indignation is quite as violent as among other people, only its object is slightly different. what is more, people whose own hearts are not directly engaged, always regard unfortunate entanglements, disastrous marriages as though we were free to choose the inspiration of our love, and do not take into account the exquisite mirage which love projects and which envelops so entirely and so uniquely the person with whom we are in love that the ‘folly’ with which a man is charged who marries his cook or the mistress of his best friend is as a rule the only poetical action that he performs in the course of his existence
i gathered that robert and his wife had been on the brink of a separation (albeit gilberte had not yet discovered the precise nature of the trouble) and that it was mme. de marsantes, a loving, ambitious and philosophical mother, who had arranged and enforced their reconciliation. she moved in those circles in which the inbreeding of incessantly crossed strains and a gradual impoverishment bring to the surface at every moment in the realm of the p-ssions, as in that of pecuniary interest, inherited vices and compromises. with the same energy with which she had in the past protected mme. swann, she had -ssisted the marriage of jupien’s niece and brought about that of her own son to gilberte, employing thus on her own account, with a pained resignation, the same primeval wisdom which she dispensed throughout the faubourg. and perhaps what had made her at a certain moment expedite robert’s marriage to gilberte — which had certainly caused her less trouble and cost fewer tears than making him break with rachel — had been the fear of his forming with another courtesan — or perhaps with the same one, for robert took a long time to forget rachel — a fresh attachment which might have been his salvation. now i understood what robert had meant when he said to me at the princesse de guermantes’s: “it is a pity that your young friend at balbec has not the fortune that my mother insists upon. i believe she and i would have got on very well together.” he had meant that she belonged to gomorrah as he belonged to sodom, or perhaps, if he was not yet enrolled there, that he had ceased to enjoy women whom he could not love in a certain fashion and in the company of other women. gilberte, too, might be able to enlighten me as to albertine. if then, apart from rare moments of retrospect, i had not lost all my curiosity as to the life of my dead mistress, i should have been able to question not merely gilberte but her husband. and it was, after all, the same thing that had made both robert and myself anxious to marry albertine (to wit, the knowledge that she was a lover of women). but the causes of our desire, like its objects for that matter, were opposite. in my case, it was the desperation in which i had been plunged by the discovery, in robert’s the satisfaction; in my case to prevent her, by perpetual vigilance, from indulging her predilection; in robert’s to cultivate it, and by granting her her freedom to make her bring her girl friends to him. if jupien traced back to a quite recent origin the fresh orientation, so divergent from their original course, that robert’s carnal desires had -ssumed, a conversation which i had with aune and which made me very miserable shewed me that the head waiter at balbec traced this divergence, this inversion to a far earlier date. the occasion of this conversation had been my going for a few days to balbec, where saint-loup himself had also come with his wife, whom during this first phase he never allowed out of his sight. i had marvelled to see how rachel’s influence over robert still made itself felt. only a young husband who has long been keeping a mistress knows how to take off his wife’s cloak as they enter a restaurant, how to treat her with befitting courtesy. he has, during his illicit relations, learned all that a good husband should know. not far from him at a table adjoining my own, bloch among a party of pretentious young university men, was -ssuming a false air of being at his ease and shouted at the top of his voice to one of his friends, as he ostentatiously p-ssed him the bill of fare with a gesture which upset two water-bottles: “no, no, my dear man, order! never in my life have i been able to make head or tail of these doc-ments. i have never known how to order dinner!” he repeated with a pride that was hardly sincere and, blending literature with gluttony, decided at once upon a bottle of champagne which he liked to see ‘in a purely symbolic fashion’ adorning a conversation. saint-loup, on the other hand, did know how to order dinner. he was seated by the side of gilberte — already pregnant (he was, in the years that followed, to keep her continually supplied with offspring)† — as he would presently lie down by her side in their double bed in the hotel. he spoke to no one but his wife, the rest of the hotel appeared not to exist for him, but at the moment when a waiter came to take his order, and stood close beside him, he swiftly raised his blue eyes and darted a glance at him which did not last for more than two seconds, but in its limpid penetration seemed to indicate a kind of curiosity and investigation entirely different from that which might have animated any ordinary diner studying, even at greater length, a page or messenger, with a view to making humorous or other observations which he would communicate to his friends. this little quick glance, apparently quite disinterested, revealed to those who had intercepted it that this excellent husband, this once so p-ssionate lover of rachel, possessed another plane in his life, and one that seemed to him infinitely more interesting than that upon which he moved from a sense of duty. but it was to be discerned only in that glance. already his eyes had returned to gilberte who had seen nothing, he introduced a p-ssing friend and left the room to stroll with her outside. now, aimé was speaking to me at that moment of a far earlier time, the time when i had made saint-loup’s acquaintance, through mme. de villeparisis, at this same balbec. “why, surely, sir,” he said to me, “it is common knowledge, i have known it for ever so long. the year when monsieur first came to balbec, m. le marquis shut himself up with my lift-boy, on the excuse of developing some photographs of monsieur’s grandmother. the boy made a complaint, we had the greatest difficulty in hushing the matter up. and besides, monsieur, monsieur remembers the day, no doubt, when he came to luncheon at the restaurant with m. le marquis de saint-loup and his mistress, whom m. le marquis was using as a screen. monsieur doubtless remembers that m. le marquis left the room, pretending that he had lost his temper. of course i don’t suggest for a moment that madame was in the right. she was leading him a regular dance. but as to that day, no one — will ever make me believe that m. le marquis’s anger wasn’t put on, and that he hadn’t a good reason to get away from monsieur and madame.” so far as this day was concerned, i am convinced that, if aimé was not lying consciously, he was entirely mistaken. i remembered quite well the state robert was in, the blow he struck the journalist. and, for that matter, it was the same with the balbec incident; either the lift-boy had lied, or it was aimé who was lying. at least, i supposed so; certainty i could not feel, for we never see more than one aspect of things. had it not been that the thought distressed me, i should have found a refreshing irony in the fact that, whereas to me sending the lift-boy to saint-loup had been the most convenient way of conveying a letter to him and receiving his answer, to him it had meant making the acquaintance of a person who had taken his fancy. everything, indeed, is at least twofold. upon the most insignificant action that we perform, another man will graft a series of entirely different actions; it is certain that saint-loup’s adventure with the lift-boy, if it occurred, no more seemed to me to be involved in the commonplace dispatch of my letter than a man who knew nothing of wagner save the duet in lohengrin would be able to foresee the prelude to tristan. certainly to men, things offer only a limited number of their innumerable attributes, because of the paucity of our senses. they are coloured because we have eyes, how many other epithets would they not merit if we had hundreds of senses? but this different aspect which they might present is made more comprehensible to us by the occurrence in life of even the most trivial event of which we know a part which we suppose to be the whole, and at which another person looks as though through a window opening upon another side of the house and offering a different view. supposing that aimé had not been mistaken, saint-loup’s blush when bloch spoke to him of the lift-boy had not, perhaps, been due after all to my friend’s pr-nouncing the word as ‘lighft.’ but i was convinced that saint-loup’s physiological evolution had not begun at that period and that he then had been still exclusively a lover of women. more than by any other sign, i could tell this retrospectively by the friendship that saint-loup had shewn for myself at balbec. it was only while he was in love with women that he was really capable of friendship. afterwards, for some time at least, to the men who did not attract him physically he displayed an indifference which was to some extent, i believe, sincere — for he had become very curt — and which he exaggerated as well in order to make people think that he was interested only in women. but i remember all the same that one day at doncières, as i was on my way to dine with the verdurins, and after he had been gazing rather markedly at morel, he had said to me: “curious, that fellow, he reminds me in some ways of rachel. don’t you notice the likeness? to my mind, they are identical in certain respects. not that it can make any difference to me.” and nevertheless his eyes remained for a long time gazing abstractedly at the horizon, as when we think, before returning to the card-table or going out to dinner, of one of those long voyages which we shall never make, but for which we feel a momentary longing. but if robert found certain traces of rachel in charlie, gilberte, for her part, sought to present some similarity to rachel, so as to attract her husband, wore like her bows of scarlet or pink or yellow ribbon in her hair, which she dressed in a similar style, for she believed that her husband was still in love with rachel, and so was jealous of her. that robert’s love may have hovered at times over the boundary which divides the love of a man for a woman from the love of a man for a man was quite possible. in any case, the part played by his memory of rachel was now purely aesthetic. it is indeed improbable that it could have played any other part. one day robert had gone to her to ask her to dress up as a man, to leave a long tress of hair hanging down, and nevertheless had contented himself with gazing at her without satisfying his desire. he remained no less attached to her than before and paid her scrupulously but without any pleasure the enormous allowance that he had promised her, not that this prevented her from treating him in the most abominable fashion later on. this generosity towards rachel would not have distressed gilberte if she had known that it was merely the resigned fulfilment of a promise which no longer bore any trace of love. but love was, on the contrary, precisely what he pretended to feel for rachel. h0m-s-xuals would be the best husbands in the world if they did not make a show of being in love with other women. not that gilberte made any complaint. it was the thought that robert had been loved, for years on end, by rachel that had made her desire him, had made her refuse more eligible suitors; it seemed that he was making a sort of concession to her when he married her. and indeed, at first, any comparison between the two women (incomparable as they were nevertheless in charm and beauty) did not favour the delicious gilberte. but the latter became enhanced later on in her husband’s esteem whereas rachel grew visibly less important. there was another person who contradicted herself: namely, mme. swann. if, in gilberte’s eyes, robert before their marriage was already crowned with the twofold halo which was created for him on the one hand by his life with rachel, perpetually proclaimed in mme. de marsantes’s lamentations, on the other hand by the prestige which the guermantes family had always had in her father’s eyes and which she had inherited from him, mme. de forcheville would have preferred a more brilliant, perhaps a princely marriage (there were royal families that were impoverished and would have accepted the dowry — which, for that matter, proved to be considerably less than the promised millions — purged as it was by the name forcheville) and a son-in-law less depreciated in social value by a life spent in comparative seclusion. she had not been able to prevail over gilberte’s determination, had complained bitterly to all and sundry, denouncing her son-in-law. one fine day she had changed her tune, the son-in-law had become an angel, nothing was ever said against him except in private. the fact was that age had left unimpaired in mme. swann (become mme. de forcheville) the need that she had always felt of financial support, but, by the desertion of her admirers, had deprived her of the means. she longed every day for another necklace, a new dress studded with brilliants, a more sumptuous motor-car, but she had only a small income, forcheville having made away with most of it, and — what israelite strain controlled gilberte in this? — she had an adorable, but a fearfully avaricious daughter, who counted every penny that she gave her husband, not to mention her mother. well, all of a sudden she had discerned, and then found her natural protector in robert. that she was no longer in her first youth mattered little to a son-in-law who was not a lover of women. all that he asked of his mother-in-law was to smoothe down some little difficulty that had arisen between gilberte and himself, to obtain his wife’s consent to his going for a holiday with morel. odette had lent her services, and was at once rewarded with a magnificent ruby. to pay for this, it was necessary that gilberte should treat her husband more generously. odette preached this doctrine to her with all the more fervour in that it was she herself who would benefit by her daughter’s generosity. thus, thanks to robert, she was enabled, on the threshold of her fifties (some people said, of her sixties) to dazzle every table at which she dined, every party at which she appeared, with an unparalleled splendour without needing to have, as in the past, a ‘friend’ who now would no longer have stood for it, in other words have paid the piper. and so she had entered finally, it appeared, into the period of ultimate chast-ty, and yet she had never been so smart
† dis aliter visum. we shall see, in the sequel, that the widowed gilberte appears to be the mother of an only daughter. c. k. s. m.]
it was not merely the malice, the rancour of the once poor boy against the master who has enriched him and has moreover (this was in keeping with the character and still more with the vocabulary of m. de charlus) made him feel the difference of their positions, that had made charlie turn to saint-loup in order to add to the baron’s sorrows. he may also have had an eye to his own profit. i formed the impression that robert must be giving him a great deal of money. after an evening party at which i had met robert before i went down to combray, and where the manner in which he displayed himself by the side of a lady of fashion who was reputed to be his mistress, in which he attached himself to her, never leaving her for a moment, enveloped publicly in the folds of her skirt, made me think, but with an additional nervous trepidation, of a sort of involuntary rehearsal of an ancestral gesture which i had had an opportunity of observing in m. de charlus, when he appeared to be robed in the finery of mme. molé or some other woman, the banner of a gynaecophil cause which was not his own but which he loved, albeit without having the right to flaunt it thus, whether because he found it useful as a protection or aesthetically charming, i had been struck, as we came away, by the discovery that this young man, so generous when he was far less rich, had become so stingy. that a man clings only to what he possesses, and that he who used to scatter money when he so rarely had any now h–rds that with which he is amply supplied, is no doubt a common enough phenomenon, and yet in this instance it seemed to me to have -ssumed a more individual form. saint-loup refused to take a cab, and i saw that he had kept a tramway transfer-ticket. no doubt in so doing saint-loup was exercising, with a different object, talents which he had acquired in the course of his intimacy with rachel. a young man who has lived for years with a woman is not as inexperienced as the novice for whom the girl that he marries is the first. similarly, having had to enter into the minutest details of rachel’s domestic economy, partly because she herself was useless as a housekeeper, and afterwards because his jealousy made him determined to keep a firm control over her private life, he was able, in the administration of his wife’s property and the management of their household, to continue playing the part with a sk!ll and experience which gilberte would perhaps have lacked, who gladly relinquished the duties to him. but no doubt he was doing this princ-p-lly in order to be able to support charlie with every penny saved by his cheeseparing, maintaining him in affluence without gilberte’s either noticing or suffering by his peculations. tears came to my eyes when i reflected that i had felt in the past for a different saint-loup an affection which had been so great and which i could see quite well, from the cold and evasive manner which he now adopted, that he no longer felt for me, since men, now that they were capable of arousing his desires, could no longer inspire his friendship. how could these tastes have come to birth in a young man who had been so p-ssionate a lover of women that i had seen him brought to a state of almost suicidal frenzy because ‘rachel, when from the lord’ had threatened to leave him? had the resemblance between charlie and rachel — invisible to me — been the plank which had enabled robert to p-ss from his father’s tastes to those of his uncle, in order to complete the physiological evolution which even in that uncle had occurred quite late in life? at times however aimé‘s words came back to my mind to make me uneasy; i remembered robert that year at balbec; he had had a trick, when he spoke to the lift-boy, of not paying any attention to him which strongly resembled m. de charlus’s manner when he addressed certain men. but robert might easily have derived this from m. de charlus, from a certain stiffness and a certain bodily att-tude proper to the guermantes family, without for a moment sharing the peculiar tastes of the baron. for instance, the duc de guermantes, who was free from any taint of the sort, had the same nervous trick as m. de charlus of turning his wrist, as though he were straightening a lace cuff round it, and also in his voice certain shrill and affected intonations, mannerisms to all of which, in m. de charlus, one might have been tempted to ascribe another meaning, to which he would have given another meaning himself, the individual expressing his peculiarities by means of impersonal and atavistic traits which are perhaps nothing more than ingrained peculiarities fixed in his gestures and voice. by this latter hypothesis, which borders upon natural history, it would not be m. de charlus that we ought to style a guermantes marked with a blemish and expressing it to a certain extent by means of traits peculiar to the guermantes race, but the duc de guermantes who would be in a perverted family the exceptional example, whom the hereditary malady has so effectively spared that the outward signs which it has left upon him lose all their meaning. i remembered that on the day when i had seen saint-loup for the first time at balbec, so fair complexioned, fashioned of so rare and precious a substance, gliding between the tables, his monocle fluttering in front of him, i had found in him an effeminate air which was certainly not suggested by what i was now learning about him, but sprang rather from the grace peculiar to the guermantes, from the fineness of that dresden china in which the d-ch-ss too was moulded. i recalled his affections for myself, his tender, sentimental way of expressing it, and told myself that this also, which might have deceived anyone else, meant at the time something quite different, indeed the direct opposite of what i had just learned about him. but from when did the change date? if it had occurred before my return to balbec, how was it that he had never once come to see the lift-boy, had never once mentioned him to me? and as for the first year, how could he have paid any attention to the boy, p-ssionately enamoured as he then was of rachel? that first year, i had found saint-loup peculiar, as was every true guermantes. now he was even more individual than i had supposed. but things of which we have not had a direct intuition, which we have learned only through other people, we have no longer any opportunity, the time has p-ssed in which we could inform our heart of them; its communications with reality are suspended; and so we cannot profit by the discovery, it is too late. besides, upon any consideration, this discovery pained me too intensely for me to be able to derive spiritual advantage from it. no doubt, after what m. de charlus had told me in mme. verdurin’s house — in paris, i no longer doubted that robert’s case was that of any number of respectable people, to be found even among the best and most intelligent of men. to learn this of anyone else would not have affected me, of anyone in the world save robert. the doubt that aimé‘s words had left in my mind tarnished all our friendship at balbec and doncières, and albeit i did not believe in friendship, nor did i believe that i had ever felt any real friendship for robert, when i thought about those stories of the lift-boy and of the restaurant in which i had had luncheon with saint-loup and rachel, i was obliged to make an effort to restrain my tears
i should, as it happens, have no need to pause to consider this visit which i paid to the combray district, which was perhaps the time in my life when i gave least thought to combray, had it not furnished what was at least a provisional verification of certain ideas which i had formed long ago of the ‘guermantes way,’ and also a verification of certain other ideas which i had formed of the ‘méséglise way.’ i repeated every evening, in the opposite direction, the walks which we used to take at combray, in the afternoon, when we went the ‘méséglise way.’ we dined now at tansonville at an hour at which in the past i had long been asleep at combray. and this on account of the heat of the sun. and also because, as gilberte spent the afternoon painting in the chapel attached to the house, we did not take our walks until about two hours before dinner. for the pleasure of those earlier walks which was that of seeing as we returned home the purple sky frame the calvary or mirror itself in the vivonne, there was subst-tuted the pleasure of setting forth when dusk had already gathered, when we encountered nothing in the village save the blue-grey, irregular and shifting triangle of a flock of sheep being driven home. over half the fields night had already fallen; above the evening star the moon had already lighted her lamp which presently would bathe their whole extent. it would happen that gilberte let me go without her, and i would move forward, trailing my shadow behind me, like a boat that glides across enchanted waters. but as a rule gilberte came with me. the walks that we took thus together were very often those that i used to take as a child: how, then, could i help feeling far more keenly now than in the past on the ‘guermantes way’ the conviction that i would never be able to write anything, combined with the conviction that my imagination and my sensibility had grown more feeble, when i found how little interest i took in combray? and it distressed me to find how little i relived my early years. i found the vivonne a meagre, ugly rivulet beneath its towpath. not that i noticed any material discrepancies of any magnitude from what i remembered. but, separated from the places which i happened to be revisiting by the whole expanse of a different life, there was not, between them and myself, that contiguity from which is born, before even we can perceive it, the immediate, delicious and total deflagration of memory. having no very clear conception, probably, of its nature, i was saddened by the thought that my faculty of feeling and imagining things must have diminished since i no longer took any pleasure in these walks. gilberte herself, who understood me even less than i understood myself, increased my melancholy by sharing my astonishment. “what,” she would say, “you feel no excitement when you turn into this little footpath which you used to climb?” and she herself had so entirely altered that i no longer thought her beautiful, which indeed she had ceased to be. as we walked, i saw the landscape change, we had to climb hillocks, then came to a downward slope. we conversed, very pleasantly for me — not without difficulty however. in so many people there are different strata which are not alike (there were in her her father’s character, and her mother’s); we traverse first one, then the other. but, next day, their order is reversed. and finally we do not know who is going to allot the parts, to whom we are to appeal for a hearing. gilberte was like one of those countries with which we dare not form an alliance because of their too frequent changes of government. but in reality this is a mistake. the memory of the most constant personality establishes a sort of ident-ty in the person, with the result that he would not fail to abide by promises which he remembers even if he has not endorsed them. as for intelligence, it was in gilberte, with certain absurdities that she had inherited from her mother, very keen. i remember that, in the course of our conversations while we took these walks, she said things which often surprised me greatly. the first was: “if you were not too hungry and if it was not so late, by taking this road to the left and then turning to the right, in less than a quarter of an hour we should be at guermantes.” it was as though she had said: “turn to the left, then the first turning on the right and you will touch the intangible, you will reach the inaccessibly remote tracts of which we never upon earth know anything but the direction, but” (what i thought long ago to be all that i could ever know of guermantes, and perhaps in a sense i had not been mistaken) “the ‘way.’” one of my other surprises was that of seeing the ‘source of the vivonne’ which i imagined as something as extraterrestrial as the gates of h-ll, and which was merely a sort of rectangular basin in which bubbles rose to the surface. and the third occasion was when gilberte said to me: “if you like, we might go out one afternoon, and then we can go to guermantes, taking the road by méséglise, it is the nicest walk,” a sentence which upset all my childish ideas by informing me that the two ‘ways’ were not as irreconcilable as i had supposed. but what struck me most forcibly was how little, during this visit, i lived over again my childish years, how little i desired to see combray, how meagre and ugly i thought the vivonne. but where gilberte made some of the things come true that i had imagined about the méséglise way was during one of those walks which after all were nocturnal even if we took them before dinner — for she dined so late. before descending into the mystery of a perfect and profound valley carpeted with moonlight, we stopped for a moment, like two insects about to plunge into the blue calyx of a flower. gilberte then uttered, perhaps simply out of the politeness of a hostess who is sorry that you are going away so soon and would have liked to shew you more of a country which you seem to appreciate, a speech of the sort in which her practice as a woman of the world sk!lled in putting to the best advantage silence, simplicity, sobriety in the expression of her feelings, makes you believe that you occupy a place in her life which no one else could fill. showering abruptly over her the sentiment with which i was filled by the delicious air, the breeze that was wafted to my nostrils, i said to her: “you were speaking the other day of the little footpath, how i loved you then!” she replied: “why didn’t you tell me? i had no idea of it. i was in love with you. indeed, i flung myself twice at your head.” “when?” “the first time at tansonville, you were taking a walk with your family, i was on my way home, i had never seen such a dear little boy. i was in the habit,” she went on with a vague air of modesty, “of going out to play with little boys i knew in the ruins of the keep of roussainville. and you will tell me that i was a very naughty girl, for there were girls and boys there of all sorts who took advantage of the darkness. the altar-boy from combray church, théodore, who, i am bound to confess, was very nice indeed (heavens, how charming he was!) and who has become quite ugly (he is the chemist now at méséglise), used to amuse himself with all the peasant girls of the district. as they let me go out by myself, whenever i was able to get away, i used to fly there. i can’t tell you how i longed for you to come there too; i remember quite well that, as i had only a moment in which to make you understand what i wanted, at the risk of being seen by your people and mine, i signalled to you so vulgarly that i am ashamed of it to this day. but you stared at me so crossly that i saw that you didn’t want it.” and, all of a sudden, i said to myself that the true gilberte — the true albertine — were perhaps those who had at the first moment yielded themselves in their facial expression, one behind the hedge of pink hawth-rn, the other upon the beach. and it was i who, having been incapable of understanding this, having failed to recapture the impression until much later in my memory after an interval in which, as a result of our conversations, a dividing hedge of sentiment had made them afraid to be as frank as in the first moments — had ruined everything by my clumsiness. i had lost them more completely — albeit, to tell the truth, the comparative failure with them was less absurd — for the same reasons that had made saint-loup lose rachel
“and the second time,” gilberte went on, “was years later when i p-ssed you in the doorway of your house, a couple of days before i met you again at my aunt oriane’s, i didn’t recognise you at first, or rather i did unconsciously recognise you because i felt the same longing that i had felt at tansonville.” “but between these two occasions there were, after all, the champs-elysées.” “yes, but there you were too fond of me, i felt that you were spying upon me all the time.” i did not ask her at the moment who the young man was with whom she had been walking along the avenue des champs-elysées, on the day on which i had started out to call upon her, on which i would have been reconciled with her while there was still time, that day which would perhaps have changed the whole course of my life, if i had not caught sight of those two shadowy forms advancing towards me side by side in the dusk. if i had asked her, i told myself, she would perhaps have confessed the truth, as would albertine had she been restored to life. and indeed when we are no longer in love with women whom we meet after many years, is there not the abyss of death between them and ourselves, just as much as if they were no longer of this world, since the fact that we are no longer in love makes the people that they were or the person that we were then as good as dead? it occurred to me that perhaps she might not have remembered, or that she might have lied to me. in any case, it no longer interested me in the least to know, since my heart had changed even more than gilberte’s face. this last gave me scarcely any pleasure, but what was most striking was that i was no longer wretched, i should have been incapable of conceiving, had i thought about it again, that i could have been made so wretched by the sight of gilberte tripping along by the side of a young man, and thereupon saying to myself: “it is all over, i shall never attempt to see her again.” of the state of mind which, in that far off year, had been simply an unending torture to me, nothing survived. for there is in this world in which everything wears out, everything perishes, one thing that crumbles into dust, that destroys itself still more completely, leaving behind still fewer traces of itself than beauty: namely grief
and so i am not surprised that i did not ask her then with whom she had been walking in the champs-elysées, for i have already seen too many examples of this incuriosity that is brought about by time, but i am a little surprised that i did not tell gilberte that, before i saw her that evening, i had sold a bowl of old chinese porcelain in order to buy her flowers. it had indeed been, during the dreary time that followed, my sole consolation to think that one day i should be able without danger to tell her of so delicate an intention. more than a year later, if i saw another carriage bearing down upon mine, my sole reason for wishing not to die was that i might be able to tell this to gilberte. i consoled myself with the thought: “there is no hurry, i have a whole lifetime in which to tell her.” and for this reason i was anxious not to lose my life. now it would have seemed to me a difficult thing to express in words, almost ridiculous, and a thing that would ‘involve consequences.’ “however,” gilberte went on, “even on the day when i p-ssed you in the doorway, you were still just the same as at combray; if you only knew how little you have altered!” i pictured gilberte again in my memory. i could have drawn the rectangle of light which the sun cast beneath the hawth-rns, the trowel which the little girl was holding in her hand, the slow gaze that she fastened on myself. only i had supposed, because of the co-rs- gesture that accompanied it, that it was a contemptuous gaze because what i longed for it to mean seemed to me to be a thing that little girls did not know about and did only in my imagination, during my hours of solitary desire. still less could i have supposed that so easily, so rapidly, almost under the eyes of my grandfather, one of them would have had the audacity to suggest it
long after the time of this conversation, i asked gilberte with whom she had been walking along the avenue des champs-elysées on the evening on which i had sold the bowl: it was léa in male attire. gilberte knew that she was acquainted with albertine, but could not tell me any more. thus it is that certain persons always reappear in our life to herald our pleasures or our griefs
what reality there had been beneath the appearance on that occasion had become quite immaterial to me. and yet for how many days and nights had i not tormented myself with wondering who the man was, had i not been obliged, when i thought of him, to control the beating of my heart even more perhaps than in the effort not to go downstairs to bid mamma good-night in that same combray. it is said, and this is what accounts for the gradual disappearance of certain nervous affections, that our nervous system grows old. this is true not merely of our permanent self which continues throughout the whole duration of our life, but of all our successive selves which after all to a certain extent compose the permanent self
and so i was obliged, after an interval of so many years, to add fresh touches to an image which i recalled so well, an operation which made me quite happy by shewing me that the imp-ssable gulf which i had then supposed to exist between myself and a certain type of little girl with golden hair was as imaginary as pascal’s gulf, and which i felt to be poetic because of the long series of years at the end of which i was called upon to perform it. i felt a stab of desire and regret when i thought of the dungeons of roussainville. and yet i was glad to be able to say to myself that the pleasure towards which i used to strain every nerve in those days, and which nothing could restore to me now, had indeed existed elsewhere than in my mind, in reality, and so close at hand, in that roussainville of which i spoke so often, which i could see from the window of the orris-scented closet. and i had known nothing! in short gilberte embodied everything that i had desired upon my walks, even my inability to make up my mind to return home, when i thought i could see the tree-trunks part asunder, take human form. the things for which at that time i so feverishly longed, she had been ready, if only i had had the sense to understand and to meet her again, to let me taste in my boyhood. more completely even than i had supposed, gilberte had been in those days truly part of the ‘méséglise way.’
and indeed on the day when i had p-ssed her in a doorway, albeit she was not mlle. de l’orgeville, the girl whom robert had met in houses of -ssignation (and what an absurd coincidence that it should have been to her future husband that i had applied for information about her), i had not been altogether mistaken as to the meaning of her glance, nor as to the sort of woman that she was and confessed to me now that she had been. “all that is a long time ago,” she said to me, “i have never given a thought to anyone but robert since the day of our engagement. and, let me tell you, that childish caprice is not the thing for which i blame myself most.”
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