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marcus stevens – you’d be surprised lyrics

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[charon, spoken] excuse me! pardon me, the styx is a permit-only river. there’s no picnicking, wading, washing… oh, you’re not fishing are you? i swear, if i see one more fisherman i’ll-

[persephone, spoken] you’re charon! the ferryman! my mum told me stories about you

[charon, spoken] oh, i’m sure. gruesome, forboding, old charon, the stuff of nightmares. ferrying all those poor, dead, wretched souls to the other side, right?

[persephone, spoken] my mum’s demeter, goddess of-

[charon, spoken] you’re persephone? what the heck are you doing down here? i mean, the underworld’s the worst; dismal, barren, a little sticky

[sung]

if it were within my power to leave here
i would go without a backwards glance
cause my job is so morose
all these dead people are gross
i’d fly if i could get the chance

[persephone]
you’d be surprised
your job is nicer than it seems
’cause you keep your composure
so dead souls find closure
so you clear all their fears

[charon]
and put up with their screams

[persephone]
you’d be surprised
i mean, truly surprised
you provide those who died
with sweet dreams

[charon, spoken] oh, you’re alright kid! this river walk’s on me

[persephone]
ooh ahh
ooh ahh

[ascalaphus, spoken] hey, hey! watch where you’re going, you’re going to trample the soil! and who gave you permission to be in hades’ garden, anyway?

[persephone, spoken] this is a garden? what, are you the gardener?

[ascalaphus, spoken] d-mn right. ascalaphus, creepy gardener of the underworld. what useless business

[sung]
here’s the deal kid, nothing grows very well here
as you see we don’t get any sun
it’s too dank for planting seeds
and too dark for pulling weeds
it’s dim and grim and it’s no fun

[persephone]
you’d be surprised
things can bloom even when weather’s weak
plant some radish, they’ll flourish
the dead you can nourish
this stink soon can yield lots of beets

[ascalaphus]
and i’d freak!

[persephone]
dude
you’d be surprised
i mean, truly surprised
some things grow even though
skies are bleak

[spoken]
just plant stuff that grows in the dark. turnips, swede… this is the underworld, there must be stuff that blooms here magically just because

[ascalaphus, spoken] like pomegranates!

[persephone, spoken] uh, sure. listen, i know gardens. if you work hard, you’ll get results

[ascalaphus, spoken] thanks, lady! root vegetables are totally the new black

[persephone]
ooh ahh
ooh ahh

[minos, spoken] aha! a new victim!

[sung]

i am minos
judge of the dead
i invent punishment
forcing mortals
to repent

[persephone, spoken] everyone must hate you

[minos, spoken] they do

[persephone]
you’d be surprised
things might change if you weren’t so severe
sure you might be judgemental
but try to be gentle
’cause force is of course, well

[minos]
it’s laden with fear

[persephone]
right!
you’d be surprised
i mean, truly surprised
folks would melt
if you felt less of fear

[minos, spoken] you think so?

[persephone, spoken] oh, i know so!

[minos, spoken] new rule, people: ice cream for everybody!

[persephone]
i don’t know what i’m feeling
it’s totally new
yes, i’m finally letting loose
yes, it makes me feel of use
i helped these guys and bam
i pulled them up and d-mn
call me surprised
i mean, truly surprised
that in h-ll i can tell who i am
yes, in h-ll i can tell who i am

- marcus stevens lyrics

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