marlo thomas,mel brooks - boy meets girl lyrics
boy: hi!
girl: hi!
boy: i’m a baby!
girl: what do you think i am, a loaf of bread?
boy: you could be, what do i know, i’m just born i’m a baby i don’t even know if i’m under a tree or in the hospital or
what i’m just so glad to be here
girl: well, i’m a baby, too
boy: have it your way, i don’t want to fight about it
girl: what, are you scared?
boy: yes, i am. i’m a little scared. i’ll tell you why, see i don’t know if i’m a boy or a girl yet
girl: what’s that got to do with it?
boy: well, if i’m a girl and you’re a boy you could beat me up, you think i want to lose a tooth my first day alive?
girl: what’s a tooth?
boy: search me! i’m just born, i’m a baby, i don’t know nothin’ yet!
girl: you think you’re a girl?
boy: i don’t know, i might be. i think i am, i’ve never been anything before, let me see, let me take a little look
around…hmmm, cute feet, small, dainty…yep, yep! i’m a girl, that’s it! girl time
girl: well what do you think i am?
boy: you? that’s easy, you’re a boy
girl: you sure?
boy: of course i’m sure, i’m alive already four or five minutes, right? i haven’t been wrong yet!
girl: gee, i don’t feel like a boy
boy: that’s because you can’t see yourself!
girl: why, what do i look like?
boy: bald. you’re bald, fella. bald, bald, bald. you’re bald as a ping-pong ball, are you bald
girl: so?
boy: so? boys are bald and girls have hair
girl: are you sure?
boy: of course i’m sure – who’s bald, your mother or your father?
girl: my father
boy: i rest my case
girl: hm. you’re bald, too!
boy: you’re kidding!
girl: no, i’m not –
boy: –don’t look!
girl: why?
boy: (sigh) a bald girl, yuch, disgusting!
girl: maybe you’re a boy and i’m a girl
boy: there you go again, i told you i’m a girl, i know it, i know it, i’m a girl and you’re a boy
girl: i think you’re wrong
boy: i’m never wrong, what about shaving?
girl: what about it?
boy: you just shaved, right?
girl: wrong
boy: exactly. and you know why? because everyone’s born with a clean shave, it’s just that girls keep theirs and boys don’t
girl: so what does that prove?
boy: tomorrow morning, the one that needs a shave, he’s a boy
girl: well, i can’t wait until tomorrow morning
boy: see, that proves it! girls are patient, boys are impatient!
girl: yeah? what else?
boy: can you keep a secret?
girl: absolutely
boy: there you go, boys keep secrets, girls don’t
girl: mmm, go on
boy: are you afraid of mice?
girl: no
boy: i am! i’m terrified of them! i hate them! squeak, squeak, squeak! whatta you wanna be when you grow up?
girl: a fireman
boy: what’d i tell ya?
girl: what about you?
boy: a c-cktail waitress! does that prove anything to you?
girl: hm, you must be right
boy: i told you, i’m always right. you’re the boy and i’m the girl
girl: i guess so. (gasp) oh, wait! here comes the nurse to change our diapers
boy: about time, too, i have never been so uncomfortable in my life
girl: hey! look at that!
boy: what?
girl: you see that? i am a girl! and you’re a boy!
boy: hey, it sure looks like it
girl: what do you think of that?
boy: i can’t understand it
girl: well, it sure goes to show ya…
boy: what?
girl: you can’t judge a book by it’s cover
boy: (laughs) what does that mean?
girl: how should i know, i’m only a baby
boy: so am i. goo
girl: goo
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