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marshal keep - cringetopia - the musical lyrics

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act one
+prologue+

act +gag+
act 1, regret

this is a song about those special people
the ones who use a celebrity’s death for cl!ckbait
the ones who think cheating is ok
cardi b
you know the ones i’m talking about

life’s hard in your mansion, when you’ve got 12 million to spare
you want to star in a netflix series, well twitter can’t do much there
you’ll leave the house, dressed like, you really don’t want to get laid
how much does these buzzfeed writеrs get paid?

22 but still a child
all these viеwers are pedophiles
clearly this guy don’t give a sh+t
sometimes i really hate reddit

+marshal’s lament+

i have so much rage
built from pain
mess with me
and you’ll be dancing with the devil
i am going through
a comrade phase
you don’t have the iq
to be at my level

i’ve come to reclaim my throne
from the instagrammers, and attention grabbers
all the simps who just want to smash
because they know, it’s really her day
drink this potion, now you’re g+y
and if you eat cheese, then you’re s+xist
so just rethink your nutritious breakfast!

is this my fate?
what have i become?
is it too late
to unsee what they done?

i’ve seen pedophile flags
furry art too
i’ve seen fake asians
i’ve seen weeaboos

and all of the jokers that i’ve come across
saying we live in a society
you’re not being edgy, just creepy and weird
like people who try to buy a strangers love
or the cats movie… +cough+
guys in fedoras stroking their neckbeards
gamers rise up and ascend to the heavens!
act two
+why do you do that sh+t?+

[chorus]

why do you do that sh+t?
tell me, oh why do you do that sh+t?
these are the kinds of things i will remember until my untimely death
why do you do that sh+t?
tell me, oh why do you do that sh+t?
these are the kinds of things i will remember until i jump off a cliff
tell me, oh why?

free thinker
troll hunter
intellectual, myeh [?]
two times reddit platinum
four times reddit gold
i don’t leave my house
i am so alone

i can catch your brainwaves
i can read thoughts
i am so advanced
and i am so intelligent
joker came to my house
and he pulled a weapon on me
i’m so tired
yes, i’m so tired
i’m so very tired of being good

[chorus]

why do you do that sh+t?
tell me, oh why do you do that sh+t?
these are the kinds of things i will remember until my untimely death
why do you do that sh+t?
tell me, oh why do you do that sh+t?
these are the kinds of things i will eventually cause me to lose it
tell me, oh why!

just dropped my airpods
next to my yeezys
i don’t mean to brag but
i’m super rich my life is easy

i’m looking for an emo girlfriend
has to be an 8/10
also has to be a girlfriend
and has to have, 500 friends…

oh, happy simp day!

okay lol, apparently donating $6,000 defending you on any reddit thread and asking for a twitter follow every day counts as simping
like, that’s ridiculous, right?
is that just me?
am i a simp?

hey everyone, the pizza’s here
delivered by a furry, ew

that moment when a song you wrote
brings you to tears

one, two, three, four!

[chorus]

why do you do that sh+t?
tell me, oh why do you do that sh+t?
these are the kinds of things i will remember until my untimely death
why do you do that sh+t?
tell me, oh why do you do that sh+t?
why do you think this is appropriate to post on the internet?
tell me, oh why?

+i wish i could unsee+

these are the things i wish i could unsee
and inside these things all torture me
i never wanted to seak [?] or mukbang
i don’t want trashy the lion king
i wish to be cured of these images
of jake paul, doing his… thing?

i see visions of depressing minion memes
and anime george washington
morgz face, oh it haunts my dreams
what the h+ll is a social justice wizard?

in my thoughts how i want it to be true
when i wake up all i see is, you
so many places i’d rather be
these are all the things
i wish i could unsee
please help me…

my life was better without farting trolls
my mind was free from baby nut
n0body asked for dabbing gnomes
buzzfeed we don’t want to see america’s b+tt

oh, where did we all go wrong?
why do furries keep showing up in these songs
what the point in singing all of this
after looking at these i should be enlisting my thoughts
it’s so clear, it’s so bright
i still have my innocence, i’m not scarred for life
so many places i’d rather be
these are all of the things
i wish i could unsee

act three
+idk+

i’ve seen too much, these scars never will heal
it’s like i’m caught in a trap, i’ve let go of the wheel
i’m at the end of the road, and all that’s there is s+xy vegan
and buzzfeed just never learns it seems
like peta, you just look for controversy
and why, is competitive vaping a thing?

what decisions have i made?
to lead where i’m face to face with the forced meme brigade
am i in way too deep?
i can’t take my eyes off the shrek family
my soul is crying with every tweet

i don’t know why i’m still in cringetopia
one small slip, and i’m in dystopia

why do these people have no fashion sense
tell me how can a robot even be a racist
i’m drowning in weeb sh+t, i’m drowning in weeb sh+t!
i feel like i’m stranded and left but the crabs
here i am forced to witness these kiddie pool lads
will i be the same when i swim back to land?

it’s my worst nightmare
the five+headed atheist
somebody wake me up!

[music fades out]

i’ve seen things i can never wash out…
why must i suffer…
why do i subject myself to this…
why did i come back to making reddit musicals with a subreddit that is scarring, in hindsight this was a mistake…

wh+why am i on a bridge right now?
and most importantly…

wh+why haven’t i just left, like, i can leave anytime, like, i’m not trapped here or anything
wait, all this time, i had the power to leave, all i had to do was
believe

[music fades in]

i’m going now
to r/eyebleach
to heal the wounds
to finally breach
the walls of my
own prison here
my web history
i will clear

+leaving cringetopia+

it’s time to lay down and rest
i’ve been subjected to sh+t like this
from dated cosplays
to sweaty vampires
i’ve seen it all
i was hanging from a wire

now i’m so down with the sickness
soon i’ll be kicking it in my crib
the sun has set on this horriffic day
i’ve got my own life to live

i’m moving on from the karens and chads
to become a better man
i’ll hitch a ride in this boomer van
and nevermore shall i gaze upon this land

[out of shot]

and what happened then?
well in cringetopia they say
marshal’s neckbeard grew three sizes that day

[back in shot]

i won’t go back, no i’ll never return
i’ve crossed that bridge, now i watch it burn
i cannot stay where there is no love
i’m leaving
cringetopia

- marshal keep lyrics

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