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mary mortem - dysphoria lyrics

[intro] sample
“i just don’t seem to care about things anymore
i’ve always been withdrawing
“in what ways have you been withdrawing?”
oh, avoiding it and to see things and [?]
not talking on the phone
not leaving the house
“when did things begin to turn for the worse?”
“they have been going downhill for quite a while
but in the last three to four months is when i really started isolating myself
and i swear to god i fought it
then i just didn’t fight it anymore
i was more comfortable staying at home”

[verse] (mary mortem)
my life is stuck
and i’m on the floor again
i wish i could tell you how i feel
because i am sick i want to take this gun…
and…
crying on the floor i’ve stripped myself of this
am i a boy or a girl?
do i
givе a sh+t?
overdose again
crying on the floor i’vе stripped myself of this

i can’t feel
i can’t care
care for myself
i’m sick
of the pressure
in my
head
i’m tired
pressure is fire
you should have known
should have seen this coming
now all alone

sample
would you describe that as being numb?
possibly, just existed
…
do you blame yourself for things you have or haven’t done?
i think we all do, yes
do you feel guilty about those things
yes
do you deserve punishment?
i don’t quite know how to answer that
whether i deserve punishment or not i think i got it
are you down on yourself?
yes
what is your opinion of yourself?
like wallflower, its how i kind of feel
do you see your situation getting better?
i want it to
but i just think my family would be better off without me
i’m just a wallflower in the corner
sometimes when people feel depressed they think about dying
do you have any thoughts like that?
well sometimes i thought i’d be better off dead
i smear this make up on face
tears are old on my face
you know how i get

- mary mortem lyrics

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