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massive horse - the shrinking planet lyrics

[intro: d-ck valentine]
we thought we were alone in this world
what fools we were
they said the chances were of a million to one
we were so wrong

[verse 1: m-ssive horse]
we were watching lost when the tv cut out
there was great big bang and then screams and shouts
the aliens arrived in their giant saucers
they wanted to make slaves of our wives and daughters
creeping ’round the streets with their giant eyes
and no genitalia between their thighs
we tried to run, but the aliens chased us
they wanted to insert things into our -n-s
a boy and an alien tried to be friends
but then it got drunk and raped the boy instead
the events were like a michael bay production
and spielberg was right with his theories of abduction
what happened on this day will go down in history
where they came from is still a mystery
and then ship fired a laser, man what were they thinking?
all of the sudden the planet started shrinking

[prechorus 1: m-ssive horse]
we need a john mcclane to take a way the pain
we need an ellen ripley so this rule will be over quickly

[chorus: d-ck valentine]
this is the day when the aliens landed
taking over cities and they’re shrinking the planet
the government said it wasn’t them who planned it
welcome to the world of the shrinking planet

hey boys, i’m the colonel
you just sit tight
and i’ll sort out your little alien problems for you

[verse 2: m-ssive horse]
they say that in sp-ce no-one can hear you scream
but have you ever been eaten by an alien queen?
the weapons make the humans and the horses combine
like a close encounter of the s-xiest kind
there was nowhere to run, the planet was shrinking
try talking to them, man what were we thinking?
the army ran away, we lost all our forces
the aliens had guns that turned people to horses
canz started crying “my chest really hurts”
an alien burst out, “looked like i’d just gave birth”
what the f-ck is that? “i think it’s my son”
it grew seven hundred legs and started to run

[prechorus 2: m-ssive horse]
we need a sarah connor so we can fight with honor
we need a jack bauer to help us in our darkest hour

[chorus: d-ck valentine]

[verse 3: d-ck valentine]
i am the colonel, but you can call me jack
second name is kelly but don’t call me that
it was me who destroyed the mothership
she invited me to dinner i had s-x with it
she was a big girl, you know the type i’m on about
two tails, sharp nails and talking snout
she wanted a meal, she smothered me in honey
i was dressed like a clown so i tasted funny
her eyes were closed, i put a nuke in her gills
and then i landed my ship in beverly hills
the gray’ got jobs in hollywood
no leading roles, just what they could
this ain’t a b-movie or a double feature
so i don’t know how to beat these alien creatures
your alien problem has no solution
let’s move planets, start a revolution
start a revolution
start a revolution

[bridge: m-ssive horse]
we need a morpheus to deliver the prophecy to us
we need a qui-gon jinn, to use the force to help us win
we need a [?], to do a flying kick
and a kevin mcallister, to help us set traps

[chorus: d-ck valentine] x2

- massive horse lyrics

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