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matana roberts - enthralled not by her curious blend lyrics

his daddy ran all over cain
“shadow children” is just he used to call them
with his signature angelic grin
a few of them were under my tutelage even
he took loving care of all of ’em though
not a one ever went hungry or unwanted
his mama made peace with it and carried on
but i remember, when i first heard the whispers about his daddy’s liaisons
and i thought: “i could never”

sometimes when i get a bit wistful missing out on my boys growing strong, i replay choicеs in my head
and i’ve just come to undеrstand that what we are dealt is not necessarily what we choose

but one can only take so much humiliation

when [?] came home that day and told me he wanted his little shadows to know all that was ours
i couldn’t handle it
we fought
said words to each other that to this day i cannot repeat
the sting is too lasting even in its fading memory

he told me if i didn’t like it i had to leave
man of the house
love, honor and obey was my appointed charge, he said
at first i refused, but then i decided to call his bluff
i scooped up the boys, knew i needed to get back to my own born home to feel a sense of root
until i could figure out what to do
when i tell you his people did not like me
so attached to the colored line that my supposed mystery tone
represented supposedly stain
they had had a long history of marrying each other to keep the tone consistent
double cousins on both sides, but a deep familial love, i will give them that

but because i was not local, they couldn’t be sure i might not get passage way to what granny used to call a “throwback child”
every one of my siblings, mamma and daddy looked like me in tone
and there was no “throwback” to be found, but yet his family went on and imagined it

you know, i was a school teacher somewhat accomplished in my thought if i do say so myself, yet my intellect was forever under+reviewed

i look at it all now and i still laugh
because, well, they didn’t know i was electric, alive, spirited, fired and free
my spirit overshadowing, my dreams too bombastic
my eyes too sparkling and my laughter too true

my name is your name, our name is their name
we are named
we remember, they forget

my name is your name, our name is their name
we are named, we remember, they forget
my name is your name, our name is their name
we are named, we remember, they forget

- matana roberts lyrics

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