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matt fishel - bored of straight boys lyrics

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he loves to be the life of the party
even though we’ve heard it all before
showing off his encyclopedic knowledge
of all the dates and the players and the scores

he just loves to boast about all the shots he could down
and the amount of beer that he can consume
or the joy he got from smacking some guy in the face
just ‘coz he looked at him funny ‘cross a room

and he can’t help himself from explaining
all the things he does to girls during s-x
using obnoxious and offensive language
to describe what he did to his ex
(ugh, dude!)

if he’d shut up for just one minute he’d notice
that no one else in the room is impressed
yet he goes on regaling us with his stories
of drunken antics and conquests in bed

and i’m so bored of straight boys
who only wanna talk football, down alcohol and h-ssle women

they could talk ’bout the same sh-t for days on end
(-yawn-) (boring!) (yeah, whatever)
excuse me while i go make out with my boyfriend
and if they’re cute and wanted to join in
i guess they’re welcome (the more the merrier)

no seriously, please get me out of this heinous conversation
(women, football and getting wasted)

somebody didn’t get enough attention
as a kid, i suppose
punching your fist in the air, screaming at the television
at the top of your lungs

i’m so bored of straight boys
who only wanna talk football, down alcohol and h-ssle women
it’s so boring, don’t they know there’s more to life
than only talking goals and banging girls?

and what the h-ll is with all these frat initiations?
hazing, har-ssment, group humiliation
all these bizarre testosterone-fueled rituals and p-ssage rites
comparing d-ck sizes, lining ’em up side-by-side
just hanging out with the guys
(yeah!)

somebody didn’t get enough bromance in
as a teen, i suppose (bromance!)
finally getting a chance to enjoy some same-s-x action
with all of your bros
(who knows?)

all these hordes of straight boys
who only wanna start fist fights, down alcohol and h-ssle women
it’s so boring when they all start brawling
i’ll be sat here yawning, staring at my phone

no, i’m not calling all hetero boys out
obviously some of my closest friends are straight (hah!)
but we all know those bros who act like d-ckheads
while we roll our eyes and shake our heads again and again

look at all these neanderthal men
starting a fight for the sake of it
i’m trying not to feel too intimidated
avoiding eye contact, so i don’t get hit (pow)

somebody isn’t getting enough action
as a man, and it shows
but that’s no excuse for the way you keep grinding up against that girl
while her back’s turned

i’m so bored, i hate boys
i wanna go home
(women, football and getting wasted)
i’m so bored of straight boys who only wanna talk
(fist fights, loose girls and alcohol)
macho dudes all acting like neanderthals
(women, football and getting wasted)

i’m so bored of straight boys (neanderthals)
(fist fights, loose girls and alcohol) (neanderthals)
grown-up children acting like neanderthals

and i’m so bored of straight boys who think they own
the world

- matt fishel lyrics

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