matt mulholland - leper leprechaun lyrics
frol!cking in the fields one fine day
when i saw a young man coming my way
he said “gimme your gold, don’t make me beg”
so i pushed him over and i broke his leg
“you sneaky little b-st-rd!” he did scream
and at that moment i felt something in me spleen
“i’ll ruin your life, i guarantee!”
turns out he gave me leprosy
i’m a leprechaun with leprosy
nature’s taken the best of me
fiddily-eye-tye, tee-tiddily-eye torn
i’m a leper leprechaun
thought it was a joke, just a bit of a yarn
until i woke up and i had lost me arm
i looked on the ground and saw me four leaf clover
i had no legs so i couldn’t bend over
i needed some luck and i needed it bad
i went to go check what limbs i still had
and at that time i heard a knock at the door
it was the same man as before
“i’ve come back to steal your gold!”
i tried to grab me pot but i had no hands to hold
he laughed in me face and he gave me some p-rn
“you’ll need this” he says
“cause no one will ever love a leper leprechaun”
i got real sick and all the other leprechauns began to laugh and scoff
i went to the pub to get real drunk
and me other arm fell off
i tried to drown me sorrows in a pint of guinness
but i had no tongue
so i had to try and drink it with my p-n-s
got a leg in dublin and an arm in bray
i lost me ear in galway bay
and in wicklow i lost my elbow
and in limerick i lost me… finger
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