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matt vanzetti - hell or heaven lyrics

[verse 1]
am i going to h-ll or heaven
the way i headed tell the reverend
that i most likely failed with that since
that heaven i feel i questioned
often in my smalled scaled existence, atheist cause i felt resistance
every place i went, fell consistently, hated the what i became though
wanted the reign without the rainbow
wanted grey for them not for me grown
selfish in my ways lost just me so
i couldn’t see my own reflection
without disgust, now gone met death and
am about to descend in d-mnation
and he’s now in unrest can’t save him
and i’m now drowned in flames, with satan
hated by what felt the d-mn nation
racing toward the h-ll gates, land face first
into the scorching blaze can’t face earth
life came gone too hasty, my self worth
dropped as low as i am, regretting
every decision made, now headed
away from love ones i pushed away
distanced myself made my depression
prayed to a god i didn’t believe in
came to a spot i didn’t believe would
come to but i stopped living achieved this
fatal disconnection between friends
halo, didn’t get it because this
rage in me, committing of these sins
and the fact i praise rap gods instead
of praying to god for repentance

[hook 1]
our father if you’re in heaven
now that i’m reaching my death and
i’ve breathed in my last breathes in
i ask will i be forgave
don’t know when and where i’m headed
don’t know if you’re their to listen
since i don’t believe in this since
all of that heartbreak we faced

[verse 2]
misunderstood in my short lifetime
when the riots came of course i find
h–rds of these violent crowds for me right
towards me with blood thirsty intentions
because of the lack of connections
i made when living considering
i was always livid at myself
i fell from grace, cynic from this h-ll
well away and distanced from my real
friends, complained of these feelings of jail
the regret, disdain i’m sustaining
it may just feel like i’m complaining
but i’m angry of what i made there
wish i lived in the moment anxious
wish i could see my children’s faces
wish i had kid now filled with angst and
this repentance now feel this anguish
got this sentence for shrill behavior
eternal resting deal with the pay off
feel the message is just a day off
was i destined for this or greatness
wishing i could go back and change this
wishing i had my raps on playlists
distance of packs of crowds gigantic
listening what i had to say and
but i guess that now that i’m praying
at my last resort, p-ssed in vein in
trashed in m-ss retorts, laughed away and
blasted that’s of course facts this day in
age, it’s cr-ss but formed as i stayed this
brash and mad at h–rds turned complacent
now i ask the lord will you take me begging

[hook 1]

never read the bible always drank a bottle
always had a rival, all days laid in solitude
was a wino, had no one to follow
stayed dim and hollow, treated like a bother
hated all life though, never was a honor
wish it was different, and it all shifted
could of uplifted, but i got deflected
wanted attention, without putting sweat in
wanted to acing, without even testing
yearned stability – was shook for the rest of
my life, i really – blocked out the message
no tranquility, – begging for a blessing
to just really be – feeling exultation
and felicity – needing restoration
i’m just needing this – love, no admiration
crave solidarity – not for adulation
an eternity – of this deprecation
and iniquity – scares, intimidates me
this soliloquy – i’m stating could maybe
just might really be – what saves me, frankly
i’m just dealing with – the thought of blankness
or the feeling of – being caught in flames and
regret, needing a – second chance
try to treat this and – yes, advance
to a higher power – devil’s hands
wrapped around a coward no – rest for a man
who wanted the power to – fall in his lap
who pondered for hours but – got off track with
all of the scouring for – women that did
not want any part of – me with that said
all i can say is i missed the mark
it seems at this moment this is all
i can do when going almost gone
contemplating all my decisions
misfortune and downfalls i’m pr-ne on
i’m just waiting my destination
destiny, engulfment of dark thoughts
breaths are shortening and less frequent
yes my time on earth has met its end
hoping all the hurt i made it didn’t
hold them down, or worse break them just
sickened by my horrid actions
with my teardrops pouring faster
and my spirit forcing out of
my body it’s warming now cause
i’m finding a foreign force come
suspend me in mid – air, now one
about to find his fate, now done
then i black out and i found my
self in a shroud and the sounds of
h-ll and a growling i’m bound to
meet the devil with these events
happening but then i hear this
rowdy crowd it seems i’ve been
now just given a second chance but
seems off that i’m back same before i got shot
it seems that earth is purgatory see
if i don’t treat this importantly, so i cross my heart and hope for the to control me, use this new living since i was down
praying to a god stating, saying:

[hook 2]
our father who art in heaven
now that i’m reaching my death and
i’ve breathed in my last breathes in
will you forgive (my) mistakes
i know you might (not) be liste’ning
i’m asking to (take) this risk and
offer this chance for repentance
save me from the sins i made

[break]

[hook 2]

[skit]
“holy sh-t they gone? what the f-ck”

- matt vanzetti lyrics

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