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matxeus - life of the party lyrics

[verse 1]
i been prayin’ to the mystic, but i thought that i was gifted
or maybe i was trying too hard, just to be different
all the indecision leaves me questioning my mission
is a life where i don’t have her a life that’s still worth living?
i’m addicted to attention, always hope that i’ll be mentioned
but i don’t have too many friends, not many people that would listen
but imma tell the vision, overcome with my ambition
never gave up on the lord always prayin’ for forgiveness
too many mistakes, too many emotions
i’m ready to break, from all the commotion
and all this pain inside my chest
it just goes unnoticed
and i find it real hard to stay focused
but somewhere deep inside, i still feel like i was chosen
my own story, charlie brown tryna kick the football
i’m running up, they pull it back, watchin’ ‘em laugh as i fall
for it again, i can’t make amends
with all of these people, that i thought were my friends
[chorus]
everybody wants to be
the life of the party
everybody wants to see me
knocked down, broken hearted

[verse 2]
it started back in ‘19
at first it was so frightening
my friends had told me not to take it
but listening to them just ain’t like me
so i’ll pop a pill, maybe two
that’s one for me, and one for you
tell me, have you ever walked a mile in my shoes?
and if not, tell me what have i got to lose?
but now i’m addicted
my thoughts are conflicted
i need to get some more but i ain’t got no prescription
tell me what is the difference, am i really living
if i be second+guessing everything that i’m thinkin’?
is there somethin’ i’m missing?
have i not been forgiving?
‘cause it’s the same day, over and over, yeah i relive it
(the same day over and over, yeah i relive it)
but i’m not gonna give in
[chorus]
everybody wants to be
the life of the party
everybody wants to see me
knocked down, broken hearted

[verse 3]
she not even mine but i’m always gonna protect her
there’s demons lurking everywhere they comin’ with their scepters
they stab you, rip your heart out, and be feedin’ on your sorrow
the only thing you’re thinking, “will i live to see tomorrow?”
but do i even want to, that’s what i have in question
these thoughts all in my mind, i can’t stop ‘em i can’t suppress ‘em
i hate lookin’ in the mirror i despise my own reflection
i hate the fact she’s always on my mind, my one obsession
my logic’s too sporadic, she’s my drug and i’m an addict
without her it get tragic, i go crazy, a fanatic
maybe i’m too dramatic, but when i see her i’m ecstatic
the only thing that brings me as much pain as it brings happiness
a reminder of what i couldn’t do
a reminder of what i couldn’t prove
a reminder that i f+ck everything up, just like i did with you
i hoped that one day i could move on, but i know the truth
(it’s gon’ always be you)

[chorus]
everybody wants to be
the life of the party
everybody wants to see me
knocked down, broken hearted

- matxeus lyrics

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