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mavenyx - little cog lyrics

[verse 1]
worried that they gon’ expose
my latent insecurities
all this sh+t i don’t condone
self+hatred for impurities
i’m guilty — yeah, i’m sure to be
broken bones, they’re breaking
with the words you speak
and sticks and stones
i make ‘em into burning heaps
they carry overtones and
implications of the worst of me
everything about myself i’d change
if i procured the means
wish i was going home
to cradles and to nurseries
now i feel the hole that’s grown
these craters in my memories
i’ve aged, and so they’re buried deep
tryna look for gold
i ain’t uncovered any rarities
wanna be the alpha wolf
i’m scaring sheep
i should go to therapy, like urgently
let somebody know it when
i’m aching while the world’s deceived…
i tried to chase after the girl of dreams
guess that was another goal
i didn’t deem it worth to keep
looked into my horoscope
i don’t think i’m a social creature
but i guess i focus more on others’ needs
born october 4th, so i’m a libra
yet i never cared for what it means
why should sh+t i can’t control
determine all my qualities (d+mn)
yeah, i’m just tryna put it all at ease
can’t because of all of these
distractions that i call my deeds
feel like they’re all laughing
but my life is not a comedy
wanted to accommodate
but i don’t like the company
i get the sense that they’re all
making fun of me, my lurid speech
when i get up on the stage
i’d rather take a turn and leave…
[verse 2]
and, man, i hoped that
she’d want all of me
but i guess it’s unrealistic
loving more than partially
never could accept the facts
i looked into the processes
wondering what k!lled the cat
they call it “curiosity”
i’m just tryna pave a path
i’m not afraid of following
everything i say to that extent
they just cannot believe…
and so today is f+cking halloween
come to think of it
i’m in a costume irregardlessly
that is not a word, just needed
something that would start with “ee”
lazy when i write
i tend to fill it up with falsities
it falls to me to fix it, but i fall asleep
cautiously — optimistic
that the world is great
it’s just that i don’t see…
i never think about this consciously
not until i spill my thoughts in verse
and let ‘em wander free
constantly unlocking sh+t
i didn’t know was lodged beneath
like debrox when my ear’s clogged
and it’s hard to hear
been an awful year
i hope that’s not how it’ll always be/b
but my hope is few and far between
and now it’s lost at sea/c, sh+t
like it was drifting down a water stream
i’ve been holding onto secrets
but no one’s onto me
crashing, onomatopoeic
except without a peep
yeah, there’s no one there to see it
i’m like a fallen tree, moving silently
so when my knees hit the ground
n0body watched the scene
i just spin my wheels
little cog in the large machine

- mavenyx lyrics

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