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mayday hobby - inside my head lyrics

[verse 1: mayday]
yeah and they kept on screaming
you’ll never be anything, so why you even trying?
and i kept on writing
letting all the verses take me back to when i was dying
from all of the pain and all of the “you’ll never make it, just go ahead and put the pen away”
and the echoes of my father saying that i better get a job where i’m actually getting paid
and my mother taught me to never give up and to never let anyone tell me what i’m not capable of
cause the only judge of what i can do and be is me
i kept on thinking that it meant to stay true
and to keep on climbing ladders and pushing through doors i couldn’t get to
but all i hear people say these days is that success means getting money
and more of it so you can buy mansions and diamonds
and get anyone that you’d ever want
get laid every day of every single month
and put some gold chains around your neck
and try to tell the people less fortunate than you
that maybe one day you’ll write them a check

[hook: mayday]
and so i never let them get inside my head
i told myself it’ll never happen even when i’m dead
and the images of fame popped up in my mind
but success these days is different than what i was always trying

[verse 2: mayday]
and how are we supposed to change our society with our messed up ways
and go back to the torn up neighborhood we grew up in
and tell them that hope is somewhere locked up in their rooms
the one where they go to, to run away from all of the damage and the blood
and try to see the world the way that other kids see it from the other block
how devastating that we forget where we came from
as soon as one check falls into our hands
we forget that those hands were once fighting for a single slice of bread
and that mouth that was starving and trying to say how it felt
is now roaring and saying whatever it wants to come out
you see misery never felt this good
cause back then we didn’t have anything to look forward to
and all we did was pray every night
telling god that we know that somewhere there’s a light
but that life is getting more miserable and harder
and that we just don’t understand how it’ll turn around
and how we’ll be able to afford to keep living like this
and one day try to go to college and try to get a job and have kids
but what if we stay right where we are
and never get to see what happiness consists of

[verse 3: mayday]
and i know my mother kept telling me that all i have to do is believe
and everything will one day come to me
but it’s hard to believe in anything when you can’t even escape from reality
and you don’t have time to process the mistakes you’ve made
or the friends that you’ve lost and the family members who p-ssed away
and they tell you to keep your head up high
but how can you tell me that when you don’t even know what this type of life is like
the type where you don’t know if you’ll even have food to eat for the next five days
the type of life where you lock your door and cover your ears
listen to music to block out all the yelling and the fighting and the chairs that break
and the tears that you’re fighting
the type of life where you’re not surrounded by books but drugs
and you learn that there’s no such thing as love
and that you’re always going to be on your own
so you might as well start accepting who you are and relying on yourself
so that no one else can ever tear you apart
yeah it’s easy for other people to talk and judge
and try to tell you who they think you are
but they don’t see inside your heart
or listen to your thoughts
when you’ve reached the point of almost giving up

[verse 4: mayday]
yeah they told me i’d be nothing
yeah they told me i’d stay right where i am
and dig my own grave right next to the other ones
the ones no one remembered
and no one cared enough to lay down some flowers for
they told me to forget about my dreams
telling me that those were only for the rich
and the ones who could actually accomplish something
they told me that it’s ok for me to give up
that people like me have to cause there aren’t any opportunities left for people like us
and the truth is that i started believing them
i let their voices fill up my lungs
but i never let them fill up my heart
cause deep inside i had this vision
that i’d be able to prove all of them wrong
and show my mother that she can finally be proud of her son
i’d wake up all my people from their graves
let them see that one of them made it out safe
and keep fighting against those voices
that once told them that my people were useless
and i’d be able to look in my mirror and say
“i knew you’d make it, i knew you’d finally be happy
i believed in you and can finally say i’m proud
keep on showing them that they’ll always be wrong
yeah you made it, yeah you were strong”

- mayday hobby lyrics

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