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mayday hobby - reflections lyrics

[verse 1: mayday]
i look out the window
see the reflection of something i don’t wanna be
see the reflection of my father in me
see the past even though it wasn’t always clear
all the fighting and accusations
bringing out the wrongness and anger
feeling like i’ve been isolated and abandoned
remembering that feeling when i was twelve
cause my father was never around
told my friends it was fate
that this world was filling me up with hate
i was going to shoot myself and end it that day
the wounds were growing wider
i was becoming more tired
the feelings inside of a life i despised
hatred wanted me even more
and the drugs were piling up high
i was making more than the neighbors
no one had a job that was called greatness
poverty struck everyone’s path
liberty was a gift we couldn’t unwrap
when the time came for blame it was easy
we put it on those we couldn’t forgive
the ones who kept us locked in the box
where ambition was hidden away
so we could grow up to be strong
so we could teach the next generation
how to improve their minds
and not to open their mouths
when the other side is speaking
and not to spit hate just cause they don’t believe in
something that someone else
has begged for down on their knees
in that moment where they couldn’t even see
one reason to keep pushing through
to keep breathing the air that was polluted
by the divisions that we as humans created
by the loveless marriages and torn up families
the households that think that abuse is a weapon
not knowing that it’s the reason
for an innocent kid’s depression
when they pull out a rope and hang it on their ceiling
wishing that they could bleed out their aggravation
because they were brought into this world without permission
because they have to open their eyes
and go to school performing just like everyone else
and pretend that their scars aren’t a reason
for why they think they can’t grow
because how can someone understand the sun
when they’re always stuck in their own shadow

[hook: mayday]
did your reflection suit you well today?
did it turn you back into something great?
did you manage?
did you try again?
did you let your enemies stop?
did you learn how to pretend?
did you do what you always wanted?
was it worth it?
did you love it?

[verse 2: mayday]
darkness consuming people’s hearts
making their love shallow
and to think that karma doesn’t come around
it’s been made to be a king
it’s the reason why i think before i speak
another lesson for when i’m old
another reason why i keep telling these stories
waiting on someone to tell me they understand
that emotions are bittersweet flavors
and our tongues seek temptation
our minds start believing our own lies
the truth is something we learn to despise
because we can pretend to be anything
we can make the mirror cloudy
and jump to conclusions that don’t exist
show people that we’re happy and full of bliss
i can’t say that i understand another man’s pain
and he can’t understand mine, but we both relate
each has their own past and bruises
but we compare so much we forget
that the point isn’t who’s stronger
it’s that we’re all still trying and working
to achieve the success we’ve defined
each seed growing at its own time
each dream fighting its way to make it through
different paths that we each walk on
different stories we each make
and i hope that someone out there can say
that they’ve been improving and growing
that they’ve created a new slate
to reach new expectations
to empty all the baggage
to move on from the past
and try to somehow manage
to see new reflections and dreams
a new journey ready for you
to start right on this evening

- mayday hobby lyrics

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