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maz dogg - first world problems lyrics

[hook 1]
this culture like some vultures with the things that we see fit
if my phone not workin or twitter ain’t loadin then i’m gonna be p-ssed
and i’m working all night, new game of thrones will be missed
and i ain’t at home but i gotta sh-t in a bathroom that’s public (f-ck that)
how do i live with football not in season?
and all the money i spent on starbucks should be charged as treason
my days suck cause i’m allergic to pollen
looks like we got a case of the 1st world problems

[verse 1]
oh man god d-mn maz dog trapped in the woods again
what a guy gotta do to get service
this microsoft phone boutta meet the surface
yeah get in my car
gas on e like we takin bars
lets see mazzy do we got enough gas and money to get guacomole at chipolte?
what the h-ll is that
payin more just to be fat
and the lines out the door i’ll take a detour
and go eat at in n out burger
look in the mirror that a clog in my pore?
my proactiv package comin at 4
but i’m breaking out, how am i gonna score
when my face look like a chewed apple core
gettin kinda p-ssed, should get rid of this fuse
so i’m headin to the gym but
my favorite treadmill is already bein’ used
now i’m in the weightroom my homie i met
sittin on the peck deck
seat covered in sweat
ask the manager you clean this place?
he tried to surmise i could tell he lied
can barely breath need a paper bag
i thought it was a gym not a f-ckin’ six flags
then i bit my lip, it was just the tip
but a canker sore gonna make me flip
so i dip back home loggin on google chrome
spotify playin ads before the songs
dude, just play some u2
i don’t want premium get a clue

[hook 2]
so inconvenient on my back i got an itch
don’t talk to me if subway messed up my sandwich
walkin outside got dirt up on my sperrys
and i’m tryna work out but the gym is closes 30
my internet is down i can’t torrent borat
and i hate so much bein lactose intolerant
havin’ s-x ain’t as good with a condom on
we all just blessed with these 1st world problems

[verse 2]
uh oh sh-t, my clothes are still just a little bit wet
had em in the dryer for a 45 minutes
but they come out wet and my time on a limit
let’s just spin it check tinder
no matches within the border
area is clean
no scene
of girls with them big t-tties like lucy pinder
bakin’ a pizza made in ibiza
sippin on a wine bag form franzia
sausage fresh out the oven but the cheese been cookin
burn the roof of my mouth
wasn’t lookin’
i’m handicapped so f-ck this pizza
t–th clamped down but i’m cravin some greasin’
dial dominoes, 24 never ceasin’
but wait, it’s 3 am
in the middle of the night
the phone rings light and fades to night
and the greeting message affirms my fright
so my morning rough
gotta wake up and do all this work stuff
headin’ downstairs breakfast see whats makin’
pantry door for some frosted flakin
reilly excited for shake and bakin’
open the box but the b-tch is fakin’
this cereal imperial i’m bout to need some clinical psychological therapy
if i can’t get my morning coffee
no deep breathing can stop me
i’m crazy as pac man who can’t get pinky
grindin my gears like pretty ricky
i’m goin down momar ghadafi

[hook 3]
how can i shower when i lost my louffa
and the remote is stuck in the cushions between the sofa
my girlfriend broke up with me after 2 months
feelin hollow, drown my sorrows in dunkin donuts
comfy on the couch but i wanna go to bed
walking all the way up the stairs sounds like a trek
i couldn’t get spain so i’ll study abroad in scotland (i guess)
our att-tudes are plagued by these 1st world problems

[verse 3]
now i’m goin outside to go to my job
but its cold out here with a layer of fog
and my throat be sore like i swallowed a frog
ac don’t work what am i a sled dog
mobbin fast maz dog an outlaw
checkin both ways
ballhawkin for cops
i’m general zod adhere to my
wait
i just got cut off by a grandmama
move over lady
or imma get crazy
late again to work
and my boss think i’m lazy
to the bank i go to get a credit card
but they closed sunday with no regard
ain’t this the worst my morning is cursed
sugar hangover too i’m about to starburst
man life is hard for a guy like me
daddy won’t buy me a jeep grand cherokee
i’ll be single forever no relationship
only girlfriend gon be a chocolate chip
in cookie form maybe add some p-rn
a pic of hannah storm
and i’m feelin reborn
check my phone low battery
and a hot chick just snapped me
but i only get 1 replay
the most stressful thing thats always lingering
is what show to watch when i’m netflixing
do i start archer
suits
or p-ss in boots
the video paused after i choose roots
blacked out last night i forgot a few things
there’s a half eaten pizza and a few chicken wings
that’s not the worst thing my phone on the ring
i was drunk texting at f-ckin burger king
my head on fire like bruce springsteen
medicine cabinet ain’t got ibuprofen
god-mn

[hook 4]
losing a game in madden will have me in dismay
my birthday is on christmas eve and this year it’s thursday
i can’t smoke a stogie cause i got a broken lighter
and i’ve been waiting all night for my uber driver
i cut myself shaving, my luck is just absurd
and not again i forgot my facebook p-ssword
stubbed my toe and my whole day is solemn
let’s please stop worryin bout our first world problems

- maz dogg lyrics

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