mc frontalot - dating profile lyrics
before you look at me like i’m a neo-luddite
all screens point at me at once in a real floodlight
ideally sunlight would bathe me more often
between now and a million internets and a coffin
can’t soften up my viewpoint:
modern love is the realm and computron is the true coin
and that’s it for you, boy. you’re forty-two and the coif fled
better find true love immediately, as you’ve oft said
so you figure the thing out, pick out a p-ssword
look in your digital photographs folder over the last third
of your life. is anything plausibly still hot?
what kind of hope about love have you impossibly still got
lodged in your nerd mind?
don’t you remember biology, all of the sad ones that the herd find
difficult to cope with
left the group and weren’t eloped with
before you look at me
i could tell, you could be
all that i have ever wanted
can’t trick you perfect. nevertheless!
ever since guttenberg and rosanna arquette’s
mise-en-scène, brandishing the sheaf of dot-matrix
your belief in top basics got stasis
you take ways that you might not be forgivable, reveal them
list your investment in every real un-
shakable truth that you’ve ever pondered
that profile text seems far off. you never wander
you write what you’ve seen people write, like:
you feel extreme nostalgia for excitebike;
you read this book once and you quite liked it;
screens keep you company bright nights like these
there’s a reply! this thing is pinging at you
look at his eyes: both of them singing at you
he’s in disguise as you, except beautiful
offers his services. whispers he’s dutiful
wait, it’s the dating app. it made a map of your whole ident-ty
but with all of the things that your soul intends to be
punched up and expressed now unequivocally
plus, it fixed your chin, and the whole thing’s riveting
it’s leveraging a neural network on your behalf
check the projected effectiveness there on the graph
if you let go, it’ll send notes to other romance-seeking persons
or rather to the prettier, funnier, geekier versions
of those humans that the system surely improved
your algorithm is better at flirting than you
their algorithms are better at flirting back
your virtual face, already out on a date with your top match
each of your virtual fleshes intertwine
and even though you’re not partic-p-ting, this is fine
it’s kind of ideal as your dating endgame:
bot’s got your heart simulating on the mainframe
keeps it beating in your name
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