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mc jarbo - uber eats lyrics

uber eats lyrics
[verse 1]
uber eats, i gotta delivery for you
let’s see here… mmmm d+mn girl
it smells like ass, tastes like ass
if it was me, i’d probably throw that sh+t straight in the trash
if it was me son, i’d be my+rooming them, like give me a f+cking refund
like sh+t this ain’t what i ordered, i ain’t eating this! i ain’t ethan!
this sh+t looks half eaten, even this sauce this looks suspiciously
like s+m+n, like twenty d+cks have been beaten
to an incredibly satisfying completion
it used to be at the weekend but that we’re quarantining
i’ve just f+cked up every single freaking meal in washington state this evening
by adding this spicy seasoning and a couple extra ingredients
if you don’t like it… you can go wait in a queue
full of sick motherf+ckers and jews that escaped from the zoo
you can do that, or i can just bring it straight to you
uber eats b+tch!

[chorus]
baby it’s the weekend, i know that you freakin’
want to get some food up inside you girl
but if i’m a little bit late, that don’t mean i beat my meat
inside of your uber eats

[verse 2]
while you’re locked in the house… i’m locked out of mine (cr+p)
matt, you can come right back the second you stop being such a lying f+g
she says the second you stop lying back and m+st+rbating
while playing minecraft, then you can have your life back
and you might not even believe this, it’s a secret so just
keep it between us but i love spreading diseases
i frequently nut on your f’in pizzas
and i’m not even bring facetious son, trust me there’s more than just
jizz covered chicken breast pieces, smeared in feces
and if you look a little bit closer, you’ll see that chucked in with your
f+cking chucky cheese there’s hands feet
and… jesus something resembling a human fetus!
what the f+ck does it mean? it’s still a mystery but at least it’s
brought right to your door by the world’s biggest defeatist
matt jarbo, whatever it is didn’t come from my p+n+s
don’t look at it in the eyes, just f+cking eat it
[chorus]
baby it’s the weekend, i know that you freakin’
want to get some food up inside you girl
but if i’m a little bit late, that don’t mean i beat my meat
inside of your uber eats

[verse 3]
let’s be real for a second
if tyrone paid rent, i guess these bills would get paid
and i wouldn’t have to dispose of so many of his children this way
or expose myself to sickness today
there’s no f+cking mask in the world that will comfortably fit this triple+chinned face
and i wouldn’t have invested all of my money in ripple and cake
true that my girl’s processing d+ck after d+ck every day
and i wouldn’t be driving around town for ten dollars a month
like an idiot in the middle of the f+cking bubonic plague
game over, whether it’s corona, +n+s aids or ebola
they’ll probably find me holed up in a coma, in the back of
my own car… paramedics pulling me out like some kind of
diabetic three hundred and fifty pound boulder
it is what it is!

[chorus]
baby it’s the weekend, i know that you freakin’
want to get some food up inside you girl
but if i’m a little bit late, that don’t mean i beat my meat
inside of your uber eats
[outro]
you know what i mean? if you’re still waiting for your uber eats, yeah you’re gonna want to call back and get a different driver
that sh+t is f+cked up. eat that sh+t at your own risk

- mc jarbo lyrics

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