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mc lars & schäffer the darklord - the wizard's assistant lyrics

looking back i should have stopped the interview and fled
when the boss they called the wizard tossed my resume and said
“now listen, kid, i don’t care about your college or your grades
or your references, i only like results and getting paid
if you can show me that you’ve got the goods to get ahead and earn
then i can promise you that you will fit in nicely at this firm”
“oh thank you, sir, i will not let you down!” and off i went to work
i was determined to impress him and assured i’d keep my word
but quickly i was ovеrwhelmed and started falling far
bеhind the other hires, i was tired, keeping up was hard
but if i had my own assistant, i thought i could be a star
and so i bought one by the baggie in the bathroom of a bar
then i started going harder, faster than the others
i was shining while the l+ster of my peers began to suffer
working later than the wizard kept my tricks from figured out
when the cap’s away, the mouse will play, i’m the wizard now
i got the job, i’m on the ball
i got ambition, i got drive, i got it all
i’ll be the future once the boss is driven out
keep on pushing me, well look at me, i’m the wizard now
i will keep on climbing till i’ve won
flying ever higher by the sun
challenges, i’ll take on every one
though your own wizard’s assistant keeps insisting there are none
things were really taking off, those days of wine and roses
he goes “profits are up, kid, here’s a raise and a promotion”
all the notice and the cash and gifts and bonuses, it goes
in one pocket, out the other and directly up my nose
but i had grown so c+cky and so sloppy at my peak
i couldn’t see in my own lack of sleep the cracks had sprung a leak
as the water level rose i was drowning in a sea
of the mess i’d made and taking everybody down with me
when the wizard wisened up, he showed up one night after close
where he found me in his office, i was trying on his clothes
he said “all the brooms in salem cannot sweep this under rugs
all the buckets in nantucket cannot bail out what you’ve done
you’re fired!” and i was thrown out on the street at last
happened fast, only five hundred fifty+eight seconds had passed
i maybe played with magic that i didn’t fully grasp
‘cause once i’d tasted cheddar, i was caught up in a trap
i lost the job, i dropped the ball
i had convictions and a life, i lost it all
i am a failure, my demons got me driven out
with their hooks in me, well look at me, i’m in a prison now
i was climbing blinded till i fell
flying high, my wings began to melt
damages invited by myself
’cause my own wizard’s assistant cast the most relentless spell
you tried to take the crown off the boss, a disaster
lost in your own world, living life faster
hands in the air, spun around the circumference
eyes on the prize, but i had to disrupt it
honestly, you were running out of time
water flooding faster, we were both getting high
told me you could use a little santeria
a little pixie dust was just what you needed
stars in the sky as you tried as a demigod
semi odd automatic brooms were getting strong
but you crossed the line when you sought my throne
through your subtle aim, your envy was shown
i said it was the robes but i really didn’t care
you’ll fade into obscurity like that framed hare
your prowess peaked, and i got annoyed
so i silenced that squeak, ‘cause i had no choice

- mc lars schaffer the darklord lyrics

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