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mc paul barman - (((99.99999%))) lyrics

[verse 1]
for a perfect high five, keep your eye on the elbow
whether bro hug or handshake i never can tell, though
you had me at h-llo, “jinx, you owe me a c0ke!”
i said it first but my homie is broke
“no i said it first, jerk,” chill, it’s only a joke
i trace today’s status back to the face tat
i asked for a lace pattern and got a placemat
embrace the problem or it’s a race to the bottom
grown man thinks he can own land
a bone hand emerges from the stone sand
disturbed burial ground carry around spirits’ silence, a scarier sound
update, guts to wait, cut bait?
stay put, gray soot, take a pay cut
each time i put my rhyme book away
i’m struck with another line hook to say

[bridge]
fellas, if you invest in yourself and got a big breasted heifer blessed with good health dressed like the help, say “ow!”
oww!
say “ow ow!”
oww!
ladies, if you understand a better world’s possible and wonder if man is the number one obstacle, say “hoo!”
hoo!
say “hoo! hoo!”
hoo!
animals, if you love global warming and pee on the ground until you see ovals forming, say “moo!”
moo!
say “moo, oink!”
moo!
drugs, if you’ll get me high just this one time and won’t have me out committing gun crime, say “something”
something!
say something, something
something
bugs, if you’re old school mesozoic, please go explain how you stayin’ so stoic, say “bzz!”
bzz!
say bzz, bzz
bzz!
children, if you reject fake apologies and know it takes policy to save wrecked ecology, say “yeah!”
snocch-hew, snocch-hew
now snore

[verse 2]
before you wake up, keep your eyes closed
you can control your dreams, fly, get over highs lows, try prose even if you master rhymes, if you stick to what you’re good at, you won’t last through time
the person you like best don’t always make the best friend
when yes you question their loyalty, spend less time with them
before you lament the lack of corner office, remember you’re a former crawfish
by existing you’re accomplished
the 99.99999% is too big to fail
the game is rigged, throw the pigs in a jail
please don’t call it a poetry jam or else i’ma have to go totally ham
the dude abides, a beautified smile despite feeling rude inside
the true face surfaces like a magic eight b-lls
word, it’s us who controls our tragic fate, y’alls
i swear to god, if everybody scared of oddity embraced death, they’d be spared the rod
i’ma ask today to be as if tomorrow i could p-ss away
let me see what my artist mask has to say
get your dreams off life support
do some things to make your wife contort
i love ’em mean ‘n’ tall and nice ‘n’ short
i don’t believe people are humbled by victory
i believe people are humbled stumblin’ round liquor-free
90% of showin’ up is slowin’ down
i been round new york town since everyone i knew had a 212 number that you didn’t have to dial
while you construct your brand with a hot glue gun
here i come to pave the way, till i’m a boss must shave the gray
my favorite phrase: don’t give up
i’ve seen a lot of stuff disappear and reappear
40 years old on earth, but measure me in p-n-s tears
so right-brained, i might frame light out of sequence here
maybe if i balance it all out, it’ll seem more clear

[verse 3]
if it’s all the same to you, then let’s look at it from the angel view
i’ma do what i came to do, what i say comes true
what do you know about pedestrian barriers?
while you cry goodbye to equestrian carriers
the crossed heart is a lost art
commit to your sh-t, give it a boss start
the psylocibin style o’ vibin’
the elephant in the room is the gaping chasm, shaking spasms, scr-ping bottom
only community can make things happen
we must ourselves be living doc-ments
when the const-tution’s dying at the stake
there’s tickets to the arc and it’s icin’ on the cake
when we set sail, piers be crying at the wake
my got-up-and-went got a percent so my get-up-and-go sped up the flow
some unsolicited advice: charge twice as much and you get as much to hug and kiss that give the kids goodnight
it’s a cryin’ shame, enter the lion’s mane to the science game backwards labcoat like a smock
grok, fur trim, heard him?
true fact, from new jack to legend in less than a billion seconds

- mc paul barman lyrics

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