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mc paul barman - salvation barmy lyrics

[girl’s voice]
i am a pretty little dutch girl
as pretty as pretty can be
and all the boys around my block
are crazy over me

[paul barman]
i was walkin down the street, lookin at b–bs, -sses, faces
went in the salvation army for some used gl-sses cases
next to the doooorway
the cashier catch me, held up an old map of norway
she flipped it over, and the message read ‘you’re gay’
i looked at her anxiously
two lip rings looked like fangs to me
i said, “hope my sperm will get under your thermal
underwear, because you’re cuter than nermal”
she said, “go get a haircut”
so i showed her my bare b-tt
pulled down my car hearts put my moon in her star-charts
and to make stupid stupider, i stuffed the ring up my -ss
said, “now my moon’s jupiter”
f-ckin -sshole

[guy’s voice]
she has a boyfriend fatty
he comes from cincinnati
with 48 toes and a pickle on his nose
and this is the way the story goes

[paul barman]
clickity clack, he’s at the rack with the jackets
it’s black italiano, lookin black cuz he’s backlit
“ay, what’s up with these f-ckin chinese lookin street gang jackets?”
we started to slowdance
i said, “no chance for romance
if i have to wear condoms cuz they feel like snow pants”
but i couldn’t stay calm, because she revealed a bra
made of two yamakas, i said, “you’re h-lla great!”
let’s celebrate!
we took the freight elevate-
er to continue our back-and-forth sh-ggin sports
in the room with the davenports where men become cuckolds
she chuckled
i felt her knuckle above my belt buckle

[guy’s voice]
one day when she was walking
she heard her boyfriend talking
to a little girl with a strawberry curl
and this is what he said to her

[paul barman]
my p-ssed off jabrowski
turned three colors like christov krislowski
and said, “a handjob’s a man’s job, your job’s a bl-wj-b”
that p-rn sn-b
that corn cob with a doorkn-b is a born slob?
every p-n-s wants to be famous
it’s a good way to stay misogynistic and aimless
she said, “i’m glad you explained that
my name is jane pratt, before you jerk off on my head please p-ss me that rain hat”
so i did, you know
what can i say?
i’m a lonely male who will settle for any phony in a ponytail

[another guy’s voice]
come on
bring your woman over here so i can show her a real italian man
i got the best of both f-ckin worlds here
f-ckin black man’s d-ck, and an italian man’s brain
hehehee, f-ckin -sshole

- mc paul barman lyrics

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