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mc paul barman - science lyrics

[intro]
you have a grandstand seat here, to one of the most momentous events in the history of science

(sample)

[verse 1: mc paul barman]
they commit major perjury when they say laser surgery won’t hurt the eyelids or iris on pilots
register at a bank so you don’t have to thank your wedding guest for a worthless appliance
troubled banners meet double standards cause they can’t yet, old men can’t use violence
they say foreskins cause cancer and then transfer white bleach sticks all up inside their v-g-n-s

my
rhymes are people
they elect
me to rep
each part is
simple selects
me
with
pep and care
and the
gerunds
give trip-
le respect to-
gether we
create a
ripple
e-ffect
we might
eave
and get your
nipple erect
it’s simple
as heck there
the creme-
de-la-creme
10 out of 10
and they’ll vote me
in again
and again
detritus
inside us
unites us

ahhhh! tinnitus is much too loud
thought balloon mushroom cloud
rings like saturn
stalks, stems, and patterns of pressure waves
pressure flavs, higher, tall, fireball, leaving lobes sunburned
unlearned and left back
dumb it down (f that!)
from a distance it looks like i’m wearing a chef hat
i’m from 8 miles of books
outside a few looks
the front stair’s got a pair of stone lions (science!)
it’s a faustian thing
an austrian king was the first man to engage with a diamond
what chaldeans call tamu;
syrians call giant;
egyptians sabu;
and greeks call orion
make your own constellation strips and rules for relationships or they may come for you next time you hear sirens

[outro: the old codger]
first they came for the smokers
but i was silent because i don’t smoke
then they came for the drinkers
but i keep silent because i’m a t–totaller
then they came for the meat-eaters
but i stayed silent because i’m vegetarian
when they came for the gun owners
i kept silent because i was a pacifist
then they came for the s-xually promiscuous
but i kept silent because i’m celibate
when they finally came for me i said
“please take me! the only people left are boring, moralizing crud-buckets! get me out of here already.”
ssscccccciiiiiiiieeeeennnnccccceeeeeeee
(science!)

- mc paul barman lyrics

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