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melanin 9 - silk crows lyrics

[verse 1]
can’t be right that i ain’t seen you all these years
broken fragments of my life are put together with these tears
its the third time i’ve tried to talk about you in a verse
to the girl who gave my name and put my presence on this earth
as your son, the second scarred kid you never raised
cold henny in the gl-ss as i think about the days
of people saying i look like you used to p-ss me off
cos what i thought you did was spiteful but who am i to judge
could never understand your views and ways and why you would deceive me
my grandma used to back you said you never had it easy
you abandoned and deceived a bad seed a school truant
days of staring at the door wishing you’d walk through it
on the cold stairwell observing life through a broken lens
wishing i can call you after a fight with my older friends
or maybe falling off my first bike, my first offence
shotting weed, for my growth you were all that i need
and trust i mean no disrespect to my gran she did her best
probably saved me from the streets putting a hole in my chest
she took us in clothes on our back food on the table
the first family in the hood to have movies on cable
i’ll never forget the fun we had cos she loved us bad
ducking bullets on the fuzzy screen with a strap
i loved her for that in every struggle man she always held it down
my pops would bring a lot of stress when he would come around
but f-ck him i know he’s the main reason why you broke down
i heard the rumours of his abuses when he was smoked out
i can’t lie though it came to girls he gave me good advice
he saw my daughter more times than i’ve seen you in my life
and that’s twisted to see your presence as an apparition
left me to learn from all the actions and your bad decisions
feels like my back is in prison trying to survive
hoping that my daughter sees a father when she looks in my eyes
hoping it makes you smile to see your son raising a child
i feel lost like malcolm x when he was facing a trial
thrown in the deep end sometimes i really feel like leaving
this world’s deceiving i grip the stout and blow some trees in the wind
as i think of all the things i learnt without you (without you)
all the things i learnt without you (learnt without you)
(yo, never doubtful)

- melanin 9 lyrics

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