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melleaux - thedescent lyrics

[verse 1]

there’s always a reason things will or they won’t happen
like how you’ll be the best on a team and ain’t voted captain
doing everything, bust your -ss just for the love
stayin’ humble, tryna bubble slowly building a buzz
and because you’re happy playing a role you find purpose
anything less becomes worthless, it feels surface
aimin’ for the best, ain’t impressed with anther’s work and
decide you’ll be first in somethin’ other than jerkin’
off yourself claimin number one knowin’ no one’s deservin’
sh-t, unless it’s in custody for me murderin’ this
red rum, havin’ fun, i’m a jack shinin’
lookin’ for a queen that mirrors the king, diamond
in the rough clubbin’ with ace of spades, sparks flyin’
that and rhymin’s on my mind just like georgia
oklahoma climate steady climbin’ man i hope to
god that nothin’ happens, just that fast, now i’m a loner
no z in my alphabet, no sleep
no g, no more remnants of old me
woe is me, i can’t be things i’ve never seen
let me take the time out, think about what it all means
would i be happy with everything on me?
giving more after i’ve given my everything
should i be? can i do it all for me? we’ll see
it’s never what i wanted, never wanted control but got it
it’s either i take control or sit back and be mad and watch it
die, like my hard drive and my laptop but i can’t stop
i’ll just study up on everything i used to listen to when i was young
on car rides to school with my father, he was the plug
the reason why today i got music staffs in my veins
as my heart beats the melodies of things i want to say
couple years, a couple jobs, i’m back to work
comin’ for it all, been stalled long enough
learnin’ more about being a man and my worth
trial and error man, i stand i fall, life is rough
til’ an mri reminds you you’re on borrowed time
“toe the line” no longer the message for a sober mind
though inside i deal with depression yet to know the signs
of my diagnosis, comatose is what it left my drive
even worse i gotta dry my mama’s eyes
through ’em i see it all that she feared or realized
she could be seein’ her first born being torn from her
day by day she gotta watch her blood die
tell me why all this stress is gettin’ major
tell me why everyone i know just gave up
faded out, goin’ ’bout daily life while i sit here in this room
thankin’ god for all he gave us
as my voice was taken, i see my spirit breakin’
as i down all if these spirits that i’m facin’
i could drown in all these pills that i’m takin’
and it takes funds from me, i can’t get a break from
the darkness, feel i’m heartless, energy spent
lost in the process, such an understatement
i’m guarded regardless of the sp-ce that i’m in
fallen so far deep into a place of chagrin
in the b-ssmnt

- melleaux lyrics

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