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merkules - in the end remix lyrics

(verse 1)

i find it hard for me to follow my dreams ’cause i get caught up in the drama ’till it’s harder to breathe
i’m starin’ right at my reflection and it’s not even me
i got these voices in my head and i can’t silence their screams
just hauntin’ my dreams, i wonder if it’s only myself
but as i take a look around, i see n-body else
can’t talk about it to my homies ’cause my homies won’t help
they’ll act like they give a f-ck but they don’t know how it felt
so i just, keep actin’ like it’s all okay, this bottled pain has got me feelin’ hollow again
everyday i wake up and it’s just makin’ me stressed
i take a deep breath, it’s not me, maybe it’s them
i don’t wanna crack a smile, so i’m crackin’ a bottle
look past for the sorrow, i know i won’t be happy tomorrow
that’s fine, all that really matter to me is right now
so if you’re lookin’ for me, i’m at home with the lights out
i’m still findin’ ways for me to deal with the pain
it makes me wonder if they care if they don’t see me again
n-body wants to hear about so i keep it contained
it takes a lot of late nights for me to see through the rain
because..

(hook)
i’m not myself, i’m not myself
i’m not myself, anymore..
i’m not myself, i’m not myself
i’m not myself, anymore..

(verse 2)

back in school i was one of the cool kids
now i’m the quiet type and i’m ready to lose it
i’m sick of hopin’ for better, man, it’s only excuses
when did it start happenin’? and i never would choose this
we all human and we all feel emotion but mine are stronger than others and so it’s harder to cope with, it’s causin’ commotion
this weed got me coughing and choking, i’m on this boat all alone and i ain’t got sh-t to row with
i’m lost in the moment, i’m trynna find a way to explain it
i’m waiting so patient, these hangovers makin’ me crazy
i’m havin’ dreams of me doin’ things that i’d never do
am i in h-ll cause this ain’t heaven can’t i find out the truth?
there’s a part of my brain that i wish i could remove
if you were me you’d probably lie to you too
i over think then over drink when i ain’t got sh-t to do
i’m sprawled out across the couch and i’m not gonna move
because..

(hook)
i’m not myself, i’m not myself
i’m not myself, anymore..
i’m not myself, i’m not myself
i’m not myself, anymore..
anymore…

(verse 3)

everyday there’s new pain inflicted, and when i’m drunk i’m convinced one day you’ll get it
but you don’t, so in the morning i deal with the disappointment
another day, another search for enjoyment
it’s annoying, but i made this bed for me to sleep in
and i see everybody else on the sh-r- when i’m in the deep end
i can’t breathe, it’s a disease, it’s a weakness
i’m starin’ at this bottle full of pills like i need it

(hook)
i’m not myself, i’m not myself
i’m not myself, anymore..
i’m not myself, i’m not myself
i’m not myself, anymore..
anymore…
anymore…
anymore…
anymore…
anymore…
anymore…
anymore ooh, ooh…
anymore…

- merkules lyrics

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