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meshell ndegaocello - make me wanna holler lyrics

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my mother used to wh-r- herself
and my father
would reap the benefits of her labor
it was almost as if she was absent
absent from her own life
i remember
she would scrub the floors for the white folks
just to come home
to cook and to clean
for the man who broke her
and i love to watch her dance to the tunes on
the soul stations, yeah
just to ease her mind

but my mother
she was vindictive in her own fashion
so she p-ssed down to me her traits
like that of her brown eyes and her dark hair
she p-ssed down to me
her sadness

make me wanna holler
the sadness fills my heart
make me wanna holler
make me wanna holler
make me wanna holler
baby
make me wanna holler

my child will one day ask me
what will i be?
as a child i promised myself
i’d never be
like my mother or my father
i would ask myself,
“did he feel so much pain
that it would make him wanna hurt another?”

but there was no excuse
there was no excuse to make up for the pain
that i knew my mother felt

but somewhere my destiny came
that i too became a slave, to my heart
wanting love so badly
that i’d do anything
no matter the shame

make me wanna holler
i…
love me
make me wanna holler
tell me
make me wanna holler
mmm, so sorry
make me wanna holler
so sorry

why?
i never got the nerve
to ask my father “why?”
but my mother
she would say,
she stayed for my brother and myself
but i would have sold my soul
just to share in one day
of my mother’s desired happiness

when night fell
sometimes when night fell
i’d close my eyes
and i’d hide
close your eyes
when they would yell and scream
when my father would paint her
with a dark face
of being belittled, disrespected
and set aside
his liquor, the salve
for the unseen wounds

i learned so much from him
what did i learn?
how to hurt all of those
who try to get too close

make me wanna holler
make me wanna holler
sometimes i get so…
make me wanna holler
i just don’t understand
why?
make me wanna holler
tell me why
mmm, so sorry
so sorry for the pain
make me wanna holler
so sorry

i’m so sorry
just play for me
play for me

she would close her eyes and cry
he would close his heart and hide
she would close her eyes and cry

after all this time
nothing’s changed

make me wanna holler
make me want to holler
yes i do
make me wanna holler
sell my soul just to see ya happy
so sorry for the pain
make me wanna holler
so sorry, so sorry, so sorry, yeah
make me wanna holler
so sorry for the pain

i always thought my mother
deserved so much more
but i never knew how to fix that
i drown myself in guilt
i just don’t know what to do
no
mama i love you.

- meshell ndegaocello lyrics

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