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michael mahler & alan schmuckler - better than you lyrics

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[greg]
i’m greg heffley and i wanna be
your head of middle school treasury

[rowley]
he’s got a lot of great ideas, and he’ll see ‘em through
so when you’re gonna vote, think, “what would heffley do?”

[bryce anderson]
boo!

[rowley (to greg)]
i’m trying to make you famous, but they’re missing the point

[greg]
what does someone have to do to get success in this joint?

[patty farrell]
h+llo, my name is patty farrell i get all straight a’s
i have half a million friends who gives me heaps of praise
perfect shoes and perfect drеsses, perfect t++th and hair
do i maybе sound conceited? well, i’m not! i swear

oh, i play basketball and volleyball and water polo
i’m the lead in every play and i sing every solo
i go out and find the homeless and i feed them dinner
was that bragging? i can’t help it! i’m a stone+cold winner
[patty farrell (cont’d)]
i do everything better than you
i do everything everything better than you

when you’re gonna vote for treasure, you know what to do
wha+wha+whatever i do, i do better than you!

[yvette & pauline]
oh, she’s the cutest and the brightest and the best and smartest
shes a brilliant mathematician, and a chef, and artist

[yvette]
if you want your swag to sparkle, then let patty craft it

[pauline]
do you like this dance we’re doing?
‘cause she choreographed it

[greg]
choreography, rowley! how can we beat that?

[rowley (eating twizzler)]
i don’t know, but joshie says to keep yourself fortified with nutrition. wanna twizzler?

[greg]
yes!
i’m greg heffley and the boy to beat

[rowley]
a vote for greg is a vote that’s sweet!

[greg]
i could get you all some candy from the vending machine

[greg & rowley]
to prove that i’m/he’s the greatest treasurer you’ve ever seen!

[patty farell]
i started baking monday morning, and i just couldn’t stop
i thought, “i got these extra sprinkles. they should go on top”

[yvette & paulina]
these are vegan, these are gluten free, and these have no nuts

[patty farrell]
i made enough for everybody

[patty/yvette/paulina]
plus a dozen donuts!

[greg]
grrrrr!!!!
[patty farrell]
i do everything better than you
i do everything better than you
it isn’t vicious or malicious
it’s just totally true
wha+wha+whatever i do, i do

[all kids]
better than you!

[greg]
rowley? what are you doing with that cupcake?

[rowley]
they’re free!

[greg]
grrrr!

she does everything better than me..

[greg (cont’d)]
the truth is that patty is better than me
but if the truth is problematic
instead of being democratic
i’ll take her down a peg or three!

[greg (to everyone)]
hey everybody listen up! patty farrell’s got lice
it’s gonna spread to everybody! maybe even to bryce

[kids]
(gasp!)

[greg]
she could cancel pizza fridays, she could make us eat salad

[bryce anderson]
that kid is raising some concerns, and like, i think they are valid?

[greg]
that’s right!
i heard she picks her nose

[kid 1]
and wipes it on her clothes

[greg]
there’s fungus on her toes

[all three]
eww+e+eww!

[greg]
her locker smells like cheese

[kid 2]
mixed up with mushy peas

[kid 3]
she’s got a fart disease!

[all three]
pyew+p+u!

[other kids (starting to get swayed)]
uh+huh!

[greg]
her run’s a total joke

[other kids]
uh+huh!

[greg]
she’s only blowing smoke

[other kids]
uh+huh!

[greg]
she hates you common folk

[ensemble]
that’s so true!

[greg]
so come election day
unless you wanna pay
vote

[rowley and kids]
greg!

[greg]
vote

[rowley and kids]
greg!

[greg]
me!

[rowley and kids]
you! you! you!

[greg]
hey, patty farrell! i’m better than you
and no one’ll be more upsetter than you
when i annoy you, then destroy you
with my campaigning group

[greg (aside, to rowley)]
you just make up a little lie, and people think that it’s true

[greg] [kids]
ha ha! patty farrell (ha ha!)
na na! patty farrell (na na!)
ta ta! patty farrell (ta ta!)
i’m better… than

[patty farrell (in tears)]
there he is, mrs. clayton! that’s the brute who’s been spreading awful rumors about me!

[mrs. clayton]
greg heffley. what a despicable act
smearing patty’s name with no basis in fact
i’ll see you all week in detention. your campaigning is through

[patty farrell (instantly turns off waterworks)]
hey, heffley. ‘member back in second grade? you got me with glue?

[patty farrell]
i made it my mission
to crush your ambition
so i’m doing everything better than..

[patty farrell & kids]
better than, better than, better than you!

- michael mahler alan schmuckler lyrics

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