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mickey shiloh - tissuebox lyrics

[i pray to god… i really pray to god
that i get over this.. whatever this is..
whatever this thing keeping me down is..
i wanna live again..]

i’ve been up
i’ve been down and they say
“michaela, the chemicals are different in your brain”
i’ve been held down
i’ve been strapped down in restraints
i’ve been locked in hospitals with folks that are really insane
i didn’t ever hurt n-body
maybe sometimes myself
and i didn’t ever tell n-body
how sad i felt
cause it’s just hard to explain…
no one understands me
cause they can’t see my pain
[i guess i don’t show any emotion]
it’s all inside of me…
[i feel it… i’m so disappointed in myself]
and i don’t wanna start crying
cause my friend is on the couch
i’m sorry… just tryna put these records out

i’ve just been in my room since i was kid
cutting songs while my best friend cut her wrists
and she didn’t ever hurt n-body
most times just herself
and she didn’t have n-body else that she could tell
so i just kept it all in
but i told my mom my secrets…
and when i’m calling
she always answers quick
cause she knows at any minute i could be manic
[i don’t care what the f-ck….]
she knows at any minute i could panic
[i feel like i’m gonna faint…]
cause i’m a hypochondriac with damage
[i’ve given myself some sort of disease or something…]
that sh-t be so hard to f-ckin’ manage
[just my head isn’t clear at all…]

one day i’m good, the next i’m dyin’
but it’s all in my mind…
they say i’m fine when… i’m not
so get your tissue box
cause i got all these thoughts
you can listen if you want
or just turn it off

[depressed audio: and i can’t even.. i’m in pain all the time
my physical pain, mental pain…
how am i going to take care of myself
when i can barely take care of myself when people are taking care of me?
i feel crazy, i’m so mad that at this point
i feel like i’m gonna let 10 years, 20 years p-ss by
and i’m gonna be miserable]

[manic audio: whatever you listen to, that music you listen to all day.. that’s the music you’re telling yourself. that’s the music you’re telling yourself, ok? so you listen to happy songs, you listen to songs that make you feel strong! and make you feel good, ok! don’t listen to that sad sappy sh-t unless you’re in a sad sappy mood…]

- mickey shiloh lyrics

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