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midknyte - iyrt, itl (woa cut) lyrics

[verse 1]
dear mom
sorry we had to take this route
sorry i couldn’t reassure your doubts
and i’m sure you’re thinkin’ about where you’re at
and where i’m at now
you wished i turned it down
selling your soul, don’t account for clout
i never did it
i had, an obvious path
to start winnin’
i wished i took my time to tell you i cared
but trust me, i couldn’t i was really scared
maybe you was still affected by my uncle
yea i guess that sh+t was tragic
i hope this is painless
not like you already had it
maybe for him, it’s an impulse
but for me i’ve been plottin’ for months
i’m asking the lord to give me a sign
so i’m not rottin’ for once
don’t wanna be forgotten for months
listen
i know our relationship isn’t that great
i hopin’ this message can relay
somethin’ in person i couldn’t say
face to face, with you, your heart would break
i just wanna say, i’m thankful for your stay
thank you for raisin’ me until this one fateful day
thank you for bein’ my mom and everythin’ else you raised
thank you for lettin’ me discover new things
thinkin’ this came with the new fame
somethin’ that couldn’t cost with a few things
myself and my body is at the top of the food chain
lookin’ at me, don’t tell me “you changed”
if you’re reading this, it’s too late
[verse 2]
dear dad
i know you missed the things we had
i know you probably think we good
but that isn’t facts
didn’t play your part like you’ve should
and that’s bad
it’s pretty ironic
the reason you left our family is the career that got started
you didn’t teach me nothin’
the people that taught me, corrupted, but it’s still somethin’
didn’t teach me to ride no bikes
fly no kites
same person that was my mentor had to die that night?
wonder why i cry
y’all are just fakes
the only empathy, you have given me
is the words in your taste
you try to lie, while you try to hide
that clown mask on your face
the inner me has no enemies
to catch a case
5th also said to honor thy father
i don’t respect or honor you
you just added on my pain
engraved in my brain, too fawn of you
but i do love you
thank you for stickin’ around until these last moments, gossip around town
and my lifeless corpse, on that ground
autospies, with scars on my wrists and thighs
thinkin’ i got attacked by hounds
listen
2 parents, two chains
can’t hide from the past, can’t use blame
gotta inject with no shoelace
if you’re reading this, it’s too late
[verse 3]
standin’ on that chair
wonderin’ if i did do it, would anyone care?
my studded belt still tied
thought about odin’ and gettin’ high
and for my final, last goodbye
thank you for every+
i saw the belt pop off and fly
got down, started to cry
a river formed by my eyes
i thought this was a sign
then asked god to give me another one
god? is that you? give me another sign
tell me why
great people always have to f+ckin’ die
i know i’m not supposed to question you
but tell my why
tell me why it’s always a mental battle in my mind
debatin’ if i should relapse while lookin’ twice at that knife
shakin’ every day and i can’t get no help
therapy apparently doesn’t help
so i rot while i plot on my health
in my mind, all the time i fail
i f+ck everythin’ up so just bail
just leave me in the open where i can f+ckin’ cope
got no patience or time so i have to seep in my woes
i’ll sit there in silence before i start to mope
i’m all burned out so i guess i’m defeated by my foes
and i see that light
in my eyes i wanna fly
got no shrine
all my time is on you
i only idolize you
i finalize you
put no one above you
i+ i love you
(what the f+ck was i thinking?)

- midknyte lyrics

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